Conscious Competence ( "I know what I know." )
It sounds as if you were in Conscience Competence. What do you think? And how has your journey in BPDFamily helped you get there?
I think I would agree with this.
Lessons I've learned and keep trying to learn.
1. Keep moving through conflict/bpdishness stuff. So...when it comes up, make a decision...either be the teflon man and let is roll off...or address it...or use a boundary. What I've tried to learn not to do is linger and fume about it...or keep giving it oxygen.
2. Be conscious about empathy/validation...especially if I'm doing well (not hungry, tired or any of that).
In this case I tried to understand why she was using one of her "go to" tools, not to excuse her behavior but to understand it. She had a number of reasons stacked up against her and I figured it would be over soon.
My P gave me a funny analogy once. She said that sometimes I should imagine that she is a small dog that feels the need to bare their teeth and nibble at your ankles. It sure is annoying..but does it really hurt? And once they've done their thing they usually calm down and are ready to snuggle.
While last night I was thinking more about Cat's story...my P's analogy wold hold true as well.
The frustration passed and we both got a good nights sleep.
Best,
FF