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Author Topic: Ex has disturbing relationship with her father  (Read 357 times)
reemus
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Friend
Relationship status: estranged
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« on: November 22, 2020, 01:29:44 PM »

Just a heads up: you might find the topic of this post very strange or disturbing. I have no idea where else to ask this question.

So I recently broke up with my ex who has BPD. She was sexually abused by her father over an extended period of time from childhood through her late teens. She moved out at 19 and cut contact with him. It's been 6 years since she's talked to him. I found out that he recently reached out to her and she agreed to meet up with him for dinner. I also found out that they've shared a hotel room (in her hometown) on multiple occasions. Knowing what I know about her and how she is, I worry that her father is trying to or even succeeding in convincing her that sex is the only way to get the validation that she so desperately desires from him. She has literally nobody else close to her in her life at this point. I know this sounds horrible but I've seen her do bad things when she's stressed and acting on impulse, including sleeping with basically anyone.

Is this something that can happen with victims of sexual abuse? Is it common or even heard of that they will willingly return to their abusers, even if it's their own father? Or am I looking way too far into this? I feel crazy even asking this question but it's really got me worried. Sharing a hotel room is really suspect to me.
« Last Edit: November 22, 2020, 11:14:12 PM by Turkish » Logged
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Turkish
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Relationship status: "Divorced"/abandoned by SO in Feb 2013; Mother with BPD, PTSD, Depression and Anxiety: RIP in 2021.
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« Reply #1 on: November 22, 2020, 11:16:41 PM »

Hi reemus,

That certainly sounds concerning. Though you broke it off, how long ago was that and are you still in contact?

T
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