Hi danielled,
I'd like to welcolme you to BPDFamily. I'm glad that you have found us - you will find members here that can relate with you and offer you hope. You are not alone.
A r/s with someone with a PD can feel like an emotional rollercoaster - at one point you can feel like you an empty shell and you feel scrambled and confused. The constant ups and downs have an effect on your mental and emotional state - the good news is that with enough time behind you and self work you can feel better and in some instances you can feel like you are a stronger version of yourself.
Today, I'm leaving with the feeling, that maybe I was the one with BPD, projecting this on my ex.
A hallmark of BPD is emotional immaturity - people that are emotionally immature do not self reflect because that requires emotional intelligence and dealing with more complex and true feelings.
Taking the time to think about your situation and dealing with true feelings does not sound like BPD.
You ended a two year r/s.
Where you living together?
Do you have kids together?
Have you heard from your ex partner?