My girlfriend of one year keeps on sending selfies to other guys. Mostly of...

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just her face but she does send flirty ones with cleavage showing. What do I do? Is this appropriate in a relationship?


Never caught he sending nudes to any of these guys but I can’t say for sure she is not. It also bothers me that the other guy gets more pictures than me. Snapchat to me can be a very shady app. I confronted her about it and all she did was get mad at me and blame me for being angry. She also lied about it to save my feeling but the eventually she came clean.

I feel like she is the one being pushy to this guy. At first he seemed to respect it but when I saw the pictures and messages. She seems like the one that’s the problem, not him.

Should I confront this guy and see what’s going on and do it in a respectful way? She’s a diagnosed BPD

[Thedubman123]

just her face but she does send flirty ones with cleavage showing. What do I do? Is this appropriate in a relationship?


Never caught he sending nudes to any of these guys but I can’t say for sure she is not. It also bothers me that the other guy gets more pictures than me. Snapchat to me can be a very shady app. I confronted her about it and all she did was get mad at me and blame me for being angry. She also lied about it to save my feeling but the eventually she came clean.

I feel like she is the one being pushy to this guy. At first he seemed to respect it but when I saw the pictures and messages. She seems like the one that’s the problem, not him.

Should I confront this guy and see what’s going on and do it in a respectful way? She’s a diagnosed BPD

[ForeverDad]

She's the one texting him.  So it's her issue that's concerning you, right?  So other guy isn't the problem, right?

Didn't you break up with her last summer?  Her flirting with others probably isn't going to stop, it's her behavioral pattern, her norm, and that would be difficult for her to change.  She would have to want to change and that hasn't happened.

She has showed no signs of cheating this time around but I feel like it’s a matter of time before that happens again.

[siochain]

Dude, read all of our situations who are married to pwBPD. Doesn't sound like it usually gets better, does it.

You don't live with her, don't have kids with her, aren't married to her, and you don't like how she's treating you. Is there any reason at all to continue to have anything to do with her?

And don't think she has some better self you're going to appeal to with regards to her flirting or whatever. She doesn't. She's going to do what she wants whether you make an issue or not. DEFINITELY do not get into some nonsense with whoever she's texting. For what?

Listen, you have it easy right now. Just walk away and stop messing with people who's behavior bothers you. If you're still not sure, read our stories who have spouses with BPD and decide for yourself if you want our worries and stresses. Just ride away whistling a tune and be happy you don't have it worse.

[Fian]

I also agree, if you have no ties, then walk away.  Character matters.  Spend your time with someone that you can respect.

[ForeverDad]

Every so often someone remarks, "It's okay to let this one go.  There are other fish in the ocean, healthy ones."

[CoherentMoose]

I also agree, if you have no ties, then walk away.  Character matters.  Spend your time with someone that you can respect.

I would say "Run!" away, not walk.  CoMo

[livednlearned]

just her face but she does send flirty ones with cleavage showing.

Ouch. That has to hurt, TDM.

I can understand why you would be upset.

She's someone who is comfortable having lots of options with multiple feelers out to see who's paying attention, who likes her. You're the guy most willing to tolerate this behavior.

How do you feel if she is sending nudes or doing more than that with other guys?

Is this a deal breaker for you, or is it more that you want her to be honest about what she's doing?