My child

[Lou23]

My daughter is now 24 but when she was 17 she told us her uncle had been abusing her for over 10 years and introduced her to drugs and alcohol. Because of this she is an addict and alcoholic (but has been clean for 2 1/2 years). Struggles with BPD, PTSD, trauma, OCD anxiety and depression.
I am still trying to figure out how to help her with BPD. She is very good at saying she doesn’t remember conversations we have, which then gets me in trouble cause people will believe her. (As she will lie about what we discussed to make her look better). Is this a normal trait of BPD. When I confront her about it, she will then remember our conversation.  does anyone have any suggestions on how to handle this. I have lost many friends and loved ones because they believe her, not me. She is very convincing, which we all know is a BPD trait.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[beatricex]

hi Lou23,
My mom is BPD'd. 

Something that you said that resonates, your daughter "is good at saying she doesn’t remember conversations"...but later, when confronted "she will then remember our conversation."

Yes, this is normal, in my experience.

It can range from "remembering" she told me her father sexually assualted her numerous times? (then later not remembering it, and in fact telling me it only happened once), to not remembering if she asked me if she should feed the dog 1 1/2 or 2 1/2 cups of food a day.

Don't take it personally, after many many years of dealing with this, I realize, she's dissociating.

 

b