Home page of BPDFamily.com, online relationship supportMember registration here
March 29, 2024, 02:29:14 AM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins: Kells76, Once Removed, Turkish
Senior Ambassadors: Cat Familiar, EyesUp, SinisterComplex
  Help!   Boards   Please Donate Login to Post New?--Click here to register  
bing
Depression = 72% of members
Take the test, read about the implications, and check out the remedies.
111
Pages: [1]   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: Hello World  (Read 397 times)
violintrio333
Fewer than 3 Posts
*
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
Relationship status: Dating
Posts: 1


« on: January 19, 2021, 04:53:55 PM »

Hello friends,

I just learned that one of my parents has BPD. I am joining this support group to help process that knowledge. Honestly, this feels like a renewal since I've been in the dark about my parent's issues for so much of my life, and now I at least understand why they have been the way they have. I am scared that I may have it, especially since symptoms can manifest later in life and I am pretty young, but I don't have any reason to believe I have it so I'll try not to think about it too much.

Any advice, thoughts, or solidarity is appreciated! With affection (click to insert in post)
Logged
Woolspinner2000
Retired Staff
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
Relationship status: Divorced
Posts: 2007



« Reply #1 on: January 19, 2021, 06:48:21 PM »

 Welcome new member (click to insert in post) Welcome Violintrio333!

I'm so glad that you found this site! We are a big online family that will help you and listen to you.
I am so sorry that you found out you have a BPD parent, but do you feel relieved now in a strange way? For so many of us, discovering that what we always sensed as not normal, or "I knew something wasn't right," has a real name actually helped us to feel as if we weren't crazy. There is a certain amount of validation in that.

Many of those on this board have had the same fears you have, of also getting BPD. Typically we fear that we have it at times too, but that is usually because we learned so much about the behaviours of BPD through mirroring our pwBPD (parent with BPD). We learned skills to help us survive growing up in a BPD home, and that doesn't mean you have or will have BPD too.

Tell us more about your story, siblings, etc. Looking forward to hearing from you again!

Take care,
Wools
Logged

There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind.  -C.S. Lewis
beatricex
*****
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Other
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 547


« Reply #2 on: January 19, 2021, 07:28:17 PM »

hi violintrio333,
Well, you can rest easy, because if you read enough books about narcissism and/or borderline personality disorder, they state: if you're asking yourself "Do I have it?"  then you don't.  Laugh out loud (click to insert in post)

Glad you are here.
What do you find most challenging about the relationship with your parents?

 Virtual hug (click to insert in post)
b
Logged
LunaJoy

*
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
Relationship status: In contact
Posts: 17


« Reply #3 on: January 26, 2021, 04:02:11 PM »

Hello!  I love your name - I play the violin and music helped me so much getting to know myself as a teenager and young adult, and gave me friendship and respect outside the world of my family.
I found this website last year after an upsetting phone call with my mother.  I’m in my 50s and one bad conversation with her and I would be upset for days.  She was kind but very controlling when I was a child, but when I became an adult she lost the plot really and couldn’t relate to me at all.  She often says she is undiagnosed bipolar, so I researched mental health problems, found that borderline personality disorder fitted her very well, and turned to this website for support.  Honestly, she is the same as ever but I feel so much better since using the tools described on BPD family and getting so much empathy and compassion from the people here.  Learning about BPD has helped me feel compassion for my mother, and helped me to manage conversations when she is in a stressful emotional state.  I hope you find help here too. Xxx
Logged
PearlsBefore
****
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Confidential
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Family other
Posts: 420



« Reply #4 on: January 26, 2021, 08:22:30 PM »

For what it's worth I think that the usual onset of BPD symptoms is early/mid teenaged years, so depending on your age you might be safely past the higher-risk threshold already - often it really manifests in childhood based on my reading, the issue is that much of what we associate with BPD is "normal" for children - so we don't realize it's a problem until they're older and still displaying the same issues, such as a lack of foresight or suggestibility, when it is abnormal. Other things, like an unstable self-image varying between different identities becomes MORE normal for teenagers than for children, but again is mostly suggestive of BPD if it continues AFTER the ages of 18/25-ish.

According to Dr. Christine Lawson, who I was consulting earlier today for someone else, the "favourite" child of the BPD-parent typically does not have the same risk of developing BPD as the "least favorite", the latter being much more likely.
Logged

Cast not your pearls before swine, lest they trample them, and turn and rend you. --- I live in libraries; if you find an academic article online that you can't access but might help you - send me a Private Message.
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?

Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife



Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2006-2020, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!