Diagnosis + Treatment
The Big Picture
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? [ Video ]
Five Dimensions of Human Personality
Think It's BPD but How Can I Know?
DSM Criteria for Personality Disorders
Treatment of BPD [ Video ]
Getting a Loved One Into Therapy
Top 50 Questions Members Ask
Home page
Forum
List of discussion groups
Making a first post
Find last post
Discussion group guidelines
Tips
Romantic relationship in or near breakup
Child (adult or adolescent) with BPD
Sibling or Parent with BPD
Boyfriend/Girlfriend with BPD
Partner or Spouse with BPD
Surviving a Failed Romantic Relationship
Tools
Wisemind
Ending conflict (3 minute lesson)
Listen with Empathy
Don't Be Invalidating
Setting boundaries
On-line CBT
Book reviews
Member workshops
About
Mission and Purpose
Website Policies
Membership Eligibility
Please Donate
April 27, 2024, 01:32:14 AM
Welcome,
Guest
. Please
login
or
register
.
1 Hour
5 Hours
1 Day
1 Week
Forever
Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins:
Kells76
,
Once Removed
,
Turkish
Senior Ambassadors:
Cat Familiar
,
EyesUp
,
SinisterComplex
Help!
Boards
Please Donate
Login to Post
New?--Click here to register
Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.
Practicing lawyer, Senior Family Mediator, and former Licensed Clinical Social Worker with twelve years’ experience and an expert on navigating the Family Court process.
222
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
> Topic:
Left confused and blamed for everything, it now burdens my mind everyday.
Pages: [
1
]
Go Down
« previous
next »
Print
Author
Topic: Left confused and blamed for everything, it now burdens my mind everyday. (Read 421 times)
LostPossumleft
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Broken Up
Posts: 3
Left confused and blamed for everything, it now burdens my mind everyday.
«
on:
January 21, 2021, 04:29:13 PM »
Oops
Logged
LostPossumleft
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Broken Up
Posts: 3
Re: Left confused and blamed for everything, it now burdens my mind everyday.
«
Reply #1 on:
January 21, 2021, 04:30:35 PM »
Oops2
Logged
Lucky Jim
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 6211
Re: Left confused and blamed for everything, it now burdens my mind everyday.
«
Reply #2 on:
January 22, 2021, 11:07:05 AM »
Hey Lostpossum, Your task is to let the blame roll off your back. Those w/BPD say a lot of hurtful things. Fill us in on your situation, when you get a chance.
LuckyJim
Logged
A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.
George Bernard Shaw
BuildingFromScratch
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 422
Re: Left confused and blamed for everything, it now burdens my mind everyday.
«
Reply #3 on:
January 22, 2021, 01:59:14 PM »
I took years and years of blame. She'd twist everything in a million ways to make sure I was always blamed, and the only way we could resolve fights was if I said I was sorry, even when I wasn't in the wrong. Yeah, not doing that again.
Just realize all that blame is bull
PLEASE READ
, she doesn't decide what is your fault, you do. Some things probably are your fault, most probably aren't. She was too fragile and disingenuous to take responsibility for her actions, and so she blamed you.
You might feel beaten down by her, your self esteem low because of her treatment, then you become more dependent on her, and think she's more perfect than she is, and for that reason you might blame yourself more, to keep her "more perfect" in your eyes. Don't do it. Be honest with yourself about who was really to blame for each thing, and what was acceptable behavior on both your parts.
Logged
Lucky Jim
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 6211
Re: Left confused and blamed for everything, it now burdens my mind everyday.
«
Reply #4 on:
January 22, 2021, 02:19:44 PM »
Excerpt
You might feel beaten down by her, your self esteem low because of her treatment, then you become more dependent on her, and think she's more perfect than she is, and for that reason you might blame yourself more, to keep her "more perfect" in your eyes. Don't do it. Be honest with yourself about who was really to blame for each thing, and what was acceptable behavior on both your parts.
Nicely said, BuildingFromScratch.
I would add that blaming is a way to get issues off the pwBPD's plate and onto yours, which means that the pwBPD need not take responsibility for his/her actions, because the blame has shifted to you (if you allow it). Don't catch this football! I have a saying (yes, many have heard it before): "Poison is harmless if you don't ingest it." In other words, don't internalize the blame and/or other hurtful things said by a pwBPD; instead, decline to take it on.
LJ
Logged
A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.
George Bernard Shaw
Voudou
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Dating
Posts: 24
Re: Left confused and blamed for everything, it now burdens my mind everyday.
«
Reply #5 on:
January 22, 2021, 11:33:46 PM »
I feel your pain. I really feel your pain. I have been broken. I have been faced with the blame and found myself apologizing and begging to not be broken up with. I am hoping, with time, I can be strong again. Please hang in there and please keep coming here. The stories and struggles have comforted me and have given me hope. Hope that if my relationship is over that I will heal and hope that if it continues we can find a way to balance things out using many of the tools I have found here.
Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?
Pages: [
1
]
Go Up
Print
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
> Topic:
Left confused and blamed for everything, it now burdens my mind everyday.
« previous
next »
Jump to:
Please select a destination:
-----------------------------
Help Desk
-----------------------------
===> Open board
-----------------------------
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
-----------------------------
=> Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup
=> Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting
=> Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
-----------------------------
Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD
-----------------------------
=> Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD
=> Parent, Sibling, or In-law Suffering from BPD
-----------------------------
Community Built Knowledge Base
-----------------------------
=> Library: Psychology questions and answers
=> Library: Tools and skills workshops
=> Library: Book Club, previews and discussions
=> Library: Video, audio, and pdfs
=> Library: Content to critique for possible feature articles
=> Library: BPDFamily research surveys
Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife
Loading...