Just finding out about BPD and realizing my adult daughter has it

[BOA]

Hello and thank you I look forward to participating in this group.
I am just learning after 30 years of struggle with my daughter that she has the signs of BPD.
She is in her early 40's has had 2 relationships.  I am now going to get her out of one in another city at the end of next month.
She has started a online affair with someone else and has been volatile addictive and verbally abusive to her current spouse.
She is planning as she tells me that after the border open she is going to move to the US to be with this man she just met.
She is upset with me as I am not supporting her.
I don't know her anymore, I love her and will support her.  She is a high functioning person with this disorder as it is described.
I don't want anyone else to get drawn in and she has agreed to start some therapy for herself and us as a family as she and I have had a tumultuous relationship due to her disorder.
I am struggling emotionally and filled with anxiety and look forward to guidance support and just having someone safe to talk.
Thank you,

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Swimmy55]

It is great your daughter is willing to go to her own therapy as well as family therapy. 
You are among kindred spirits here and thanks for adding us to your network of support. 
I would also recommend that you read up on BPD . One of the suggested readings in the Library here is " Stop Walking on Eggshells". It helps with realizing that by helping ourselves, we help our adult BPDs.   Please take a look around here in this forum, look at the drop down menu of subjects .  We are here with you on this journey.