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Topic: New here (Read 59 times)
HobeSoundHopeful
Fewer than 3 Posts
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Living together
Posts: 1
New here
«
on:
March 01, 2021, 09:21:11 AM »
Hi all. I'm new here. Trying to navigate these tumultuous waters. My Love has BPD and our relationship is on the rocks. I have reached my breaking point. I want to learn how to not make things worse, and how I can also live true to myself. I am in recovery (alcoholism), and have worked very hard to overcome my codependent tendencies. My recovery has been based on "tough love" and no BS, which is how I approach my SO (he is also in and out of The Rooms, but has now decided that AA isn't for him - even though two weeks ago he missed it). I don't want to make things worse. But I don't want to be an enabler. And I am struggling finding that middle ground. I am also struggling not taking things personally . . . this gaping wound in my heart is making it difficult to lead with love and I find myself shutting down and shutting out my SO. His small efforts at reconciliation seem so meaningless, although I suspect those efforts feel huge on his part.
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Cat Familiar
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Re: New here
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Reply #1 on:
March 01, 2021, 10:24:35 AM »
These relationships are difficult. You’re absolutely right that it takes a fine amount of balance to not enable and not be personally impacted by BPD behaviors. Here’s an overview that might be helpful:
https://bpdfamily.com/content/what-does-it-take-be-relationship
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“The Four Agreements 1. Be impeccable with your word. 2. Don’t take anything personally. 3. Don’t make assumptions. 4. Always do your best. ” ― Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom
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