youve found a good place with people who understand and get it.
loving someone with bpd is a very tricky balance.
walking on eggshells is not ideal. its not living authentically, and its no way to live, and ultimately, it can cause you to resent yourself as well as her. at the same time, being realistic, being pragmatic, being strategic, being mindful, are vital
its a balance, and it will take some time to learn, and unlearn.
theres a great article here that can help you get started:
https://www.bpdfamily.com/content/what-does-it-take-be-relationshipthe long and short of it is that loving someone with bpd is a rocky road, but it can get better with practice and support.