2 - For those who struggle at setting boundaries and still in love with their abuser, no contact is a means to protect themselves from further manipulation when the BPD sufferer returns to use them once more (and anecdotal evidence tends to suggest that they often do).
Yes, exactly. See, in my case, I am absolutely NOT in love with this person, at least not in a romantic way. However, he can be extremely charismatic when he wants, and play the "best friend" role perfectly, the one that would do
anything for you, and I, being a person with a certain degree of social anxiety, have some difficulty making new friends and naturally struggle to set boundaries. I have lost count of the number of times he ghosted me, argued for the silliest reasons, manipulated me, practised gaslighting, to the point where every time he abused our friendship, I was the one to end up apologizing, out of some inexplicable fear of losing this "amazing friendship". And he
always comes back eventually with a "love bomb", demands all my attention, draining me emotionally and wasting all my energy, and it always ends in tears. I have tried everything, in the hopes of "saving" our friendship. When I do set boundaries, he simply does not respect them; when I try to "enforce" them, he gets mortally offended and there we go again... a fight, then he disappears for a while, then comes back. Blocking him completely is the only way to ensure that he won't get to abuse me again.
We are humans. We are individuals. As such, there are no black and white rules when dealing with a BPD ex. But no contact is definitely an option that can help one detach and heal. As for what no contact may do to the abuser, I coldly say "who cares". Paying too much attention as to how our actions impact our abuser is exactly what enabled the abuse in the first instance.
I completely agree with this. I've gotten to a point where things are so bad and I'm just so angry and hurt (boy, do they know how to be hurtful!) that I simply don't care about his feelings anymore, I do not care if he lives or dies, and I know it sounds awful but that's the way I feel now. I've finally hit my limit. I have always cared and worried about his feelings, especially knowing how sensitive he was. And what have I gotten out of it? Abuse, hurt, debts and a lawsuit against me. No, thank you. Never again.