New To Group

[Coastalcare]

Hi
I am here for a reason
I am a 70 year old Gran given guardianship of 16 year old teen with BPD.
I need a support group to guide me and encourage me to be the best I can

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Huat]

Hello Coastalcare and from one grandmother to another...Welcome

I'm sure there is quite a story that could be told as you, at this age, take on the guardianship of your 16 year old grandchild...but whatever it is, you share only what you feel comfortable in sharing.

The support group you are wanting/needing is right here.  Sometimes just being able to put thoughts to words is a help.  No one is here to judge.  More than likely heads will nod as they read whatever it is you write.

It is going to be so important for you to do your homework.   Cruise around this website to see what is available.  Click on links to even more.  For sure make the setting up of boundaries a priority.

Once again...welcome.  I'm looking forward to reading more of your posts.

Huat

[Coastalcare]

  :heart:Hi Huat
This is encouraging - I'm not alone ! I love this child dearly but never knew or was told before she has this condition - she's been in our care for almost six months now with a "melt-down" 2 to 3 times a week - she is on meds to help her sleep as she battles to sleep and to control her moods- had to change schools and loving this we expecting 1st report next week but from what she tells us she has scored high grades
For the first time we had an event free week but it was almost as if she was looking for a reason to start one last night

[Huat]

Hello again Coastalcare

Did your granddaughter get an actual diagnosis as having BPD?  Mind you, not that it matters here because many of us (me included) cannot say that about the troubled person in our lives...but...the check marks are all there...and the support is here.

It is encouraging to read that she is cooperating by taking meds that are prescribed and also that she may soon be coming home with a glowing report card from her school.    She is trying!  Does she see a counsellor...ever seen a counsellor?   Always keep in mind that going to a counsellor yourself can be helpful, too.  Of course it would have to be someone who is familiar with BPD.

My troubled "child" (who is the mother to our only 2 grandchildren) is now 54 and we have been on this difficult journey since she was 12.  It wasn't until years of being on the roller coaster of life with her that a counsellor, and then another, suggested she might be suffering from BPD.   I was told of the book titled "I Hate You, Don't Leave Me" and I tell you, I cried as I read it because it seemed like it had been written about her.

Had I known earlier about the "tricks of the trade" on how to better interact with her type of personality problem, it is altogether possible all might have played out differently.  Well...maybe...maybe not.  That is why I urge you to do your homework.  Learn how to better help her in defusing her melt-downs when they happen...how to respond not react.   Learn about setting boundaries that not only make life easier for you but also help to teach/guide her.   For the most part, easier said than done.

Keep us as a life-line, Coastalcare.  Use us as a sounding board.  Come back as often or as little as you like.  Share as much or as little as you like.  It all works!

((Hugs) from Huat