I am over her, but I am still stressed 24/7

[IntoTheWind]

I am still experiencing the 24/7 racing thoughts and stress of being in a relationship with a bpd, I’m 3 weeks out, how long does this last for? What is it?

[EZEarache]

I can't tell you what it is. Maybe it's PTSD, from constantly trying to avoid conflict and then it inevitably happening anyway.

I also can't tell you how long it lasts. So far for me, it has been two and a half months since I moved out of the house. I was still up a good bit of the night, last night contemplating potential confrontations that will occur, and strategizing how to avoid and resolve them.

I know this is really pointless, behavior and a waste of energy. There is really no way predict exactly what is going to set her off. Most of the time, it is something completely unexpected and I'm caught off guard.

In my case we have a baby together, so I'm stuck in this relationship in one way or the other for the rest of my life.

All I can really tell you, is that you are not alone. Most likely, you don't deserve what you've been through, or what you're feeling.

[Rex31807]

It's a slow healing process. It is like PTSD. You feel like an empty shell of a person and then it gradually fills up. The first separation took a full 8 weeks and we were together 8 years at that point.  Then she reached out and I didn't want to see her at first. I met her at Starbucks and I got right back into the relationship because she is smoking hot. This time I went total NC. It has taken much longer because it's 5 years later and a lot of violence has occurred since then. She was off the chain violent and extreme. She came at me with a broken glass, punched me in the head and all other kinds of crazy BS. 

I left almost 2 months ago and it has taken this long to get a sense of normalcy.  It wasn't worth the anguish and resentment to stay in it. Another reason I left was because if she got hurt attacking me I could end up in jail and lose my job. Is it worth that when she can't regulate her emotions... Not no, HELL NO. 

This time around I am investing myself in volunteer work and regular work. I get lonely and I do have issues with self worth after the relationship but I will come to terms with that.

Rex

[IntoTheWind]

Thanks for the insight. Glad to know it’s not just me, what a nice little thank you gift she left me. I wonder what else is lurking!