Wondering if she will truly move on

[Daniel 128]

So by BPD girlfriend has a history of breaking up with me than coming back. Usually, we reconcile in days. A few times it has taken a week or two. Basically, she had been mad at something for over a week. She would not explain to me what was upsetting her, but she had a horrible attitude toward me. She would say that she is not breaking up but rather is just going to let the relationship die. Finally, she said that she could find better than me. I asked her if that meant she was going to break up with me and she said yes. She was being a bit mean and telling me how I need to learn to move on. Once she said that to me, I had explained to her that twice in the past during our breaks up I had gone out on two dates with two different women. She completely flipped out when I told her this! I explained to her that we were broken up at the time and I was trying to move on...but it didn't matter to her.

What is confusing is that on Monday she was sending me a bunch of nasty emails. Tuesday she sent me an email telling me how her girlfriend is having a birthday at a restaurant we ate at often. Then she went back to being rude. I convinced her to talk to me on Wednesday to try and reconcile. I asked her if there was a chance I could change her mind about moving on and she said yes. After we talked she went straight to the fact that I went out on two dates and said she couldn't see me the same as she once did. So it was like she was leading me on by telling me there was a chance that I could change her mind. I know she has an online dating account now and am wondering if I will hear from her again or not. Usually, I do hear from her, but me going out on those two dates really upset her bad!

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PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[B53]

D128,

My ex got mad at me for something that I did fifteen years before I met him. There is a better chance that you will hear from her, then not. If you do go back with her, you need to set a boundary. If not she will be throwing those two dates in your face for the rest of your time together, or use that as an acceptable reason to cheat on you. I don’t know the best way to phrase it ( many people here are more skilled at it then I am), but you should not be held accountable for what you did when you weren’t together, especially if she was the one who broke it off.

B53