Feeling alone when so many don’t understand this disorder

[Parents! Get help here!]

Our adult daughter has BPD and her husband has NPD.  Sadly there are 2 young children being isolated from all family, including profoundly sad grandparents.  They live 6 minutes away but continue to weaponize the children for months and years ( whenever they feel like it).  We have discussed strategy with an attorney but here in Minnesota grandparents have very few rights to see their grandchildren.  The father is a cop and knows this.  We have been enduring their abuse for the past 2 1/2 years.  Sadly we have less informed family members who demonstrate  absolute ignorance in having any awareness of these disorders.  Sometimes we feel so alone, exhausted and hopeless.  We miss our dear sweet granddaughter.  Hard to believe it’s gone on so long

[Bluejay12]

Our adult daughter has BPD and her husband has NPD.  Sadly there are 2 young children being isolated from all family, including profoundly sad grandparents.  They live 6 minutes away but continue to weaponize the children for months and years ( whenever they feel like it).  We have discussed strategy with an attorney but here in Minnesota grandparents have very few rights to see their grandchildren.  The father is a cop and knows this.  We have been enduring their abuse for the past 2 1/2 years.  Sadly we have less informed family members who demonstrate  absolute ignorance in having any awareness of these disorders.  Sometimes we feel so alone, exhausted and hopeless.  We miss our dear sweet granddaughter.  Hard to believe it’s gone on so long

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[By Still Water]

It is hard when others around us don’t understand BPD, as you’ve said. Now, I choose to use the term, “emotionally disregulated,” instead.. We learn to be guarded about what we share with those who don’t know us well. People suspect bad parenting when they hear of estrangement...why this forum is so nurturing for our battered spirits. When ours was a tween and displaying signs, my mom said we just weren’t firm enough. At that time, the diagnosis was ADHD, anxiety, and OCD.  I remember feeling mortified when he hAd a few bizarre explosions in front of my visiting sisters and their families:

[Bluejay12]

Thank you By Still Water,
I am grateful for this site and the people who are always kind enough to share their knowledge and experience

[beatricex]

hi bluejay,
You said some "who exhibit absolute ignorance..."

I like to think of that ignorance as a cross they bear.  Afterall, they have to carry that around with them and make up elaborate excuses for our Borderlines' behavior,  whereas on the flip side, we are enlightened. 

Perhaps it is possible to have a little empathy for them too?

At a safe disrance, of course.  I can say all this because I have completly cut off all contact with my bpds and their enablers.

Don't really feel the need to convince anyone of anything anymore.  I know what I know.
b