Texting right now? Seriously?

[BPDBuddy]

My exgf was diagnosed BPD 4 years ago and I recall finding this great resource back then. At the time I was not in a good place and trying to absorb as much information as I could about what was happening. The relationship had its similar cycles, love bombing, honeymoon phase and a very quick devaluation and painted black within a week. I have no doubt I still have PTSD from the experience. I made the conscious effort to continue to go NC and in spite of several angry texts from her, I have remained NC.
Several months ago, she reached out to my best friend inquiring if my father passed away. Which he did. She found out by google searching me as there would be no other way for her to know that. And just last week I get a text from her “oops wrong text” seriously?. Wow ok, I thought she was blocked? Well I blocked her.  I now come to find out that she’s recently engaged.

Shocked, but not surprised. I am just trying to understand why myself (painted black) would be contacted in what should be a pretty exciting moment in her life? It just seems so bizarre. Appreciate any insight as I have moved on to a new relationship. I was a bit traumatized after connecting the dots to this.

[IntoTheWind]

Shocked, but not surprised. I am just trying to understand why myself (painted black) would be contacted in what should be a pretty exciting moment in her life?

Imo she's tempting fate to throw her upcoming marriage under the bus because it's too intimate/close to home for her. I feel really bad for the guy.

[BPDBuddy]

Yes - that’s a little bit of my thought as well.

I eventually learned it was never what she was saying; it was always what she was not saying.  Very complex and complicated. It was just a bit eerie and thanks for replying. I do feel sorry for this guy.

[IntoTheWind]

Yes - that’s a little bit of my thought as well.

I eventually learned it was never what she was saying; it was always what she was not saying.  Very complex and complicated. It was just a bit eerie and thanks for replying. I do feel sorry for this guy.

At least you know that despite being painted black that you're still 'important' to her, she still thinks of you.

[brighter future]

At least you know that despite being painted black that you're still 'important' to her, she still thinks of you.

Yes, that's true. They all most likely think of us "nons" often. We just need to remember that this contact is all about them and their feelings and needs. They could care less about  our feelings or the pain we've suffered.

[BPDBuddy]

There is my natural tendency to look back. As much as we hate to admit it. It could’ve been her way to say “look at me” but right after I got the text I blocked her. She was impeccable at manipulating me, especially after we broke up.

My sense is she wants me to know about her impending nuptials for a variety of reasons. There is often a huge emotional let down after a wedding. I am still working on myself years removed from her.  I find it helps just to articulate what is actually happening. I shouldn’t say this, but I have a very, very strong feeling this is not going to end well. I am always on guard as she may reach out when it does not.  I just couldn’t save her at the time.