*she comes home from consecutive night out with men I didn't know*
Her: why are you on the couch?
Me: I don't want to be near you atm.
Her: *gets blanket, sleeps on cold floor*
Me: What are you doing?
Her:
PLEASE READ off
Second:
Me: *out with my mates for the first time in months, just after I found out she cheated on me*
Her: I want you to come home
Me: No, I'm with the boys, I will be back home in a few hours
Her: I'm going to kill myself
Me: *exhales and drives home*
Her: *locked in the bathroom. Eventually walks out*
Me: What were you doing?
Her: I was about to hang myself from the shower head
One of many suicide threats, etc, as I'm sure most of us have experienced.