best day #1

[Janie Starks]

Hi everyone, it's me again. I feel kinda ashamed to write for the 100th time that I broke up with my BPDboyfriend. I'm not here exactly for advice, at this point I'm not new ( ) to NC and FOG and I know what to expect from the next months. I just wanted to share what's happening with you cause when someone else knows it feels kinda... official, and I feel more committed to this mission-

This time is for good, I'm so exhausted and tired, just minutes ago we had a phone call where I told him how I was feeling about our relationship, and as usual he tried to twist the truth in his favour, gaslight, tried to get to meet me and all the rest.
We ended on good terms, kinda, he asked not to block him, he won't try to get me back, but I'm planning to do that the moment he'll attempt to h00ver me, because it will happen, I know for sure.

You know that feeling of falling in dreams? That's how I feel right now, but it never stops.

I'm already drowning in guilt and shame, but these are the things I'm planning to do:
- read and share daily on this community
- write down a list of all the abuse I had to bear and hide in these years
- read that list over and over everytime I feel like "it wasn't so bad after all" and "he might change"
- start doing again all the activities that I gave up on for him (painting, reading, ballet, going out alone)
- practice positive affirmation
- look for a therapist

I'll be happy to include more if you want to suggest anything that worked for you Thank you soo much

[Lucky Jim]

Hey Janie, I like your To-Do List!  Sorry to hear what you are going through.  I suggest that you get back in touch with your gut feelings.  If you are like me, you may have ignored those gut feelings in the throes of a BPD r/s.

LuckyJim

[Mutt]

Hi Janie Starks,

I agree with Lucky Jim, I like your list too. I’m looking forward to reading your posts. Welcome back 

[SinisterComplex]

Hi everyone, it's me again. I feel kinda ashamed to write for the 100th time that I broke up with my BPDboyfriend. I'm not here exactly for advice, at this point I'm not new ( ) to NC and FOG and I know what to expect from the next months. I just wanted to share what's happening with you cause when someone else knows it feels kinda... official, and I feel more committed to this mission-

This time is for good, I'm so exhausted and tired, just minutes ago we had a phone call where I told him how I was feeling about our relationship, and as usual he tried to twist the truth in his favour, gaslight, tried to get to meet me and all the rest.
We ended on good terms, kinda, he asked not to block him, he won't try to get me back, but I'm planning to do that the moment he'll attempt to h00ver me, because it will happen, I know for sure.

You know that feeling of falling in dreams? That's how I feel right now, but it never stops.

I'm already drowning in guilt and shame, but these are the things I'm planning to do:
- read and share daily on this community
- write down a list of all the abuse I had to bear and hide in these years
- read that list over and over everytime I feel like "it wasn't so bad after all" and "he might change"
- start doing again all the activities that I gave up on for him (painting, reading, ballet, going out alone)
- practice positive affirmation
- look for a therapist

I'll be happy to include more if you want to suggest anything that worked for you Thank you soo much

Janie, how you feel is valid. However, on this board the last thing you should feel is ashamed. Not here. But as you are not new I think you know this as well.

I look forward to following along and seeing you truly rise from the ashes and evolve.

Cheers and best wishes!

-SC-

[SomeoneNice]

I know how hard it is for you but I want you to know that you’ll pull through. You were one of the lucky ones that managed to leave a borderline partner before they discarded them.

Trust me, them discarding you out of the blue and then suddenly block you everywhere without giving you a hint of closure is literally one of the most painful situations a person can go through in their lifetime. Especially if they had loved them and planned a future with them.

You have my utmost respect. If I could go back in time, I would have left her and blocked her everywhere and not endure everything she’s put me through.

You did the right thing and I wholeheartedly salute you