Bpd Gf cheated on me whilst on holiday (with me)

[Depression = 72% of members]

Bpd gf cheated on me whilst on holiday with me. She had a one night stand with a local guy, then came back and begged for forgiveness. Why did she dump me a week later and say I was ugly and why did she boast about what they did together?

The usual fairly short but intense relationship of 4 months.

I spotted the red flags but over looked them as many of us do.

We decided to go away together for 2 months. During our time away her anger, insults and rages began to increase including physical violence.

There were constant accusations of me cheating to the point she took my phone and could see I never cheat nor even speak to anybody else. Most of my contacts she made me delete. Very controlling.

Constant breaking up and volatile arguments and increasingly strange and erratic behaviour. Half way through I caught her messaging an Italian guy who organised excursions, well actually she told me she was too and the content was that she wanted to be with him, didn’t like me etc.

She deleted the messages and the next day I forgave her but said she needs to talk about why it happened.

She grovelled for that day but then the next day strolled off across the island to spend the day with him, she stayed the night. Then the next day, messaged me to ask to come by the apartment. We began conversations and she returned. Apologising and saying she didn’t realise what I meant to her and how much she hurt n knows she ruined it.

She was like a child at this point. Insisting she told me exactly what they did, how many times, every detail. No protection. Etc.

She at they point asked to check my phone in case I’d cheated that night!

We spent the next few days together and she insisted she wanted me. So I agreed, still confused but if I asked her about her actions or why she cheated she would get angry.

Then a week later it was back to the insults and name calling. Blaming me for her cheating. Telling me she wants to see other guys whilst on holiday. Then broke up with me saying I’m not attractive enough.

We stayed out there for the remainder of the trip, I did my best to understand,

Obviously, this is the short version but I’m really confused. I’m back home now, as is she and she refuses to discuss anything and says I need to man up  and get over it.

How can she not see what she did was wrong and has no interest in my feelings?

Now messaging me telling me she’s super happy and dating other guys 1 week after getting home. She is 29 and I am 36. I’m so confused by this behaviour.

[MW8500]

Bpd gf cheated on me whilst on holiday with me. She had a one night stand with a local guy, then came back and begged for forgiveness. Why did she dump me a week later and say I was ugly and why did she boast about what they did together?

The usual fairly short but intense relationship of 4 months.

I spotted the red flags but over looked them as many of us do.

We decided to go away together for 2 months. During our time away her anger, insults and rages began to increase including physical violence.

There were constant accusations of me cheating to the point she took my phone and could see I never cheat nor even speak to anybody else. Most of my contacts she made me delete. Very controlling.

Constant breaking up and volatile arguments and increasingly strange and erratic behaviour. Half way through I caught her messaging an Italian guy who organised excursions, well actually she told me she was too and the content was that she wanted to be with him, didn’t like me etc.

She deleted the messages and the next day I forgave her but said she needs to talk about why it happened.

She grovelled for that day but then the next day strolled off across the island to spend the day with him, she stayed the night. Then the next day, messaged me to ask to come by the apartment. We began conversations and she returned. Apologising and saying she didn’t realise what I meant to her and how much she hurt n knows she ruined it.

She was like a child at this point. Insisting she told me exactly what they did, how many times, every detail. No protection. Etc.

She at they point asked to check my phone in case I’d cheated that night!

We spent the next few days together and she insisted she wanted me. So I agreed, still confused but if I asked her about her actions or why she cheated she would get angry.

Then a week later it was back to the insults and name calling. Blaming me for her cheating. Telling me she wants to see other guys whilst on holiday. Then broke up with me saying I’m not attractive enough.

We stayed out there for the remainder of the trip, I did my best to understand,

Obviously, this is the short version but I’m really confused. I’m back home now, as is she and she refuses to discuss anything and says I need to man up  and get over it.

How can she not see what she did was wrong and has no interest in my feelings?

Now messaging me telling me she’s super happy and dating other guys 1 week after getting home. She is 29 and I am 36. I’m so confused by this behaviour.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[mitten]

BPD behavior is super confusing.  Sorry you're going through this.  What would you like to happen in this situation?  It seems like she has moved on? 

[NotAHero]

 I don’t see a reconciliation here or that anything good can come out of it. It’s up to you of course.

 As for confusion and searching for answers,  you will find it in the BPD books. Its nothing personal, just BPD