Time may be on your side. Maybe. My ex made a lot of allegations during my two year divorce and the first couple years on the other side. All were either immediately or eventually discounted as "unsubstantiated". Then I sought full legal custody, this excerpt is a short version of my ridiculous
Jewish Kwanzaa court experience:
My court involvement started when my son was still 3 years old. It took 8 years to go from a temp order with alternate weekends... to a final decree two years later with shared custody and equal time... to me getting full custody but still equal time... to full custody with majority time during the school year.
I weathered innumerable child abuse allegations to all sorts of authorities. When she lost the pediatrician during the divorce's long temp order — she raged at the staff because I told her I had made an appointment for a needed vaccination and so in response they permanently "withdrew services" — she prepped our kindergartner and got the hospital to refer the matter (dad supposedly beat son on his shins of all places but told me he was on the monkey bars at a park with his mother) to CPS. And that was just one of the CPS cases.
Strangely the one claim that was rare was DV. No doubt it was because when we separated she was the one charged with Threat of DV (I had recorded the incident). So she focused on child abuse allegations. However once she did claim some DV aspect and I never knew until the court made a decision. I had filed for Change of Circumstances so I could seek custody. It was during that testimony she claimed she obstructed my winter vacation notice by claiming she wanted to observe Kwanzaa with our son despite her not being of Jewish descent. Um, Hanukkah is Jewish, not Kwanzaa. My lawyer had a field day, repeatedly asking her to describe "Jewish Kwanzaa". Anyway, the decision stated some of her testimony was "not credible" — courtspeak for "Liar!" It added, almost as an aside, that she had claimed I had choked her years before. However, court granted my petition and allowed me to proceed.
A longer version:
I had a magistrate who never reacted to anything. Literally. I had a poor 'temp' order and he never even tried to correct or modify it during the 2 year divorce process. However, a couple yeas later when we were assigned him again, I did see a reaction.
... .over time the matter of her credibility ought to rise to the surface as well as whether she's fighting for the sake of fighting rather than for your children's welfare.
My joint custody attempt in the final decree settlement (as alluded to in the custody evaluation report) failed quickly and so I went back to court the next year. Strangely, there was one item that the court remarked on, that she was "not credible" in one part of her testimony where she explained that she sabotaged my mid-winter vacation by claiming for the first time to want son with her for her holiday time during Kwanzaa. It was on a long list of holidays which we had failed to strike out the ones not observed. To the court she explained that though she wasn't of Jewish descent, she could still observe it. My lawyer jumped on it, asking her to describe this "Jewish Kwanzaa" and her lawyer couldn't object, well, not until my lawyer asked her for the third time. Literally, there were times I saw the magistrate drop his head onto his crossed arms! The decision did get me full custody but even that was remarkably circumspect, it wasn't until a few years later when I got a better order that the last magistrate came right out and repeatedly called her out on her 'disparagement of father'.
Many here have encouraged that we focus our attention on Solutions and not bickering and complaints. Hopefully the court will see you as the reasonably normal and stable parent with practical solutions and not as part of the problem.
