Hi TexasLass44,
Welcome. I rarely post over here on the Parents with thread, because I don't feel I have a lot to offer. I have both a mom and step daugher I suspect are BPD. Your post resonated with me because 1) you "forgot" your daughter mentioned she had a diagnosis of BPD? and 2) you love her boyfriend.
My husband and I are in a similar situation, in that his daughter is pretty high functioning, but yet something is off. She also has cut us off over a pretty benign infraction on my part. Has also cut her bio mom off before us. She has 2 toddlers and is married to a great guy. I guess we have that in common too.
I am just waiting for the day her in-laws realize we are not the "bad guys" but really do love her too and that she one day paints us white and the next day black is really heart wrenching.
Personally, my husband and I are going through Family Connections and already feel a lot better. I wish you strength, to find your journey, to connect with yourself and that you find the peace in knowing this is not about you. Please come back and report back, I noticed not too many parents do that, but I do want to know how it's going for you.
b