Just Venting

[Beware of Junk Psychology...]

Hi everyone,
So it's been six months since the final discard and I am so much better. I have so much to look forward to and I can say I don't focus on him anymore. I have a better life now. yahoo. But, a vent... I stopped paying attention to my social media last October. Just felt it was better to stay away. And, it was. But I had to look the other day to get some information for an event. And lo and behold in my "friend requests" is a friend of his girlfriend. I'd already deleted her before, so clearly she isn't giving up. Made me feel hounded even though I have stayed out of his way and all of his acquaintances. I know it's a little thing and I could just block her, but it feels invasive. Worst part is she doesn't know the truth about me. She doesn't know he lied to me for many, many months about his availability, his intentions, his love for me. She thinks I deserve the Scarlet letter when I was the unwitting victim of his destructive lies. I know, forget it all, put his chaos behind me. But it is annoying. Again, this is just a vent. I know there are many others who need help more than me here. BPD is a terrible illness.

[Cant breathe]

Hi everyone,
So it's been six months since the final discard and I am so much better. I have so much to look forward to and I can say I don't focus on him anymore. I have a better life now. yahoo. But, a vent... I stopped paying attention to my social media last October. Just felt it was better to stay away. And, it was. But I had to look the other day to get some information for an event. And lo and behold in my "friend requests" is a friend of his girlfriend. I'd already deleted her before, so clearly she isn't giving up. Made me feel hounded even though I have stayed out of his way and all of his acquaintances. I know it's a little thing and I could just block her, but it feels invasive. Worst part is she doesn't know the truth about me. She doesn't know he lied to me for many, many months about his availability, his intentions, his love for me. She thinks I deserve the Scarlet letter when I was the unwitting victim of his destructive lies. I know, forget it all, put his chaos behind me. But it is annoying. Again, this is just a vent. I know there are many others who need help more than me here. BPD is a terrible illness.

[once removed]

first i want to make sure i have this right.

a friend of his girlfriend, six months later, is sending you friend requests?

im not a big advocate of blocking. i think its overused and often overdramatic.

if you have no other relationship to this person, if its causing you distress, its just annoying and harassment.

id kindly reject it once or twice, and after that id hit the block button.

[Biggus]

But, a vent... I stopped paying attention to my social media last October. Just felt it was better to stay away.

It's usually a good idea to keep social media use at minimum. I deactivated my accounts for a year when I was suffering following my break up. Not that I was addicted to it, but thought maybe it's still a distractment from real life. During that period I got more social, made new friends, even a new best buddy and planned an awesome trip for myself.

And lo and behold in my "friend requests" is a friend of his girlfriend. I'd already deleted her before, so clearly she isn't giving up.

Maybe she gets a massive high on being righteous or playing a good friend or something. F her. Other people's relationships are other people's relationships. You seem to have this wisdom, but she doesn't. I think Once Removed's advice is good here, reject first and then block if it doesn't help.

Again, this is just a vent. I know there are many others who need help more than me here.

We all need help all the time.

[Cant breathe]

 Once removed, you have that right.

Thank you both for your advice.

I already did delete her request once. That was why I surprised to see it again. I'm way out of their lives -- I even live hundreds of miles away -- so why pry into mine?

Will take your advice. (Though part of me would love to tell her the truth about what happened, which I wont.)