Bit of a rant,Finally starting to wrap up, tired, sick of her, love and hate her

[WhatToDo47]

I heard from my soon to be ex wife today, she sounded defeated, resigned, ready to finally get this over with officially. My lawyer says he’ll believe it when he sees the signed papers and terms. He’s right.

At the same time, less than a week ago she was asking me if I’m seeing anyone (I’m not) and seemingly trying to recycle and come back here.

I am just so emotionally tired of her push pull. It’s getting to the point where I would rather be single forever than have to try and make our marriage work.

I just don’t trust her anymore, and I hate that. But I guess that’s the reality of it.

I’m starting to hear from some friends back home where she is now (another state) saying they’ve ran into her there and asked what happened. They’re all in shock, they can tell she’s the crazy one and they’re offering me support, but how do I ever even begin to explain all this.

Just wanted to post this where people understand, I love and hate her so much. I want to save her again, but it might literally be the death of me if I do. I’m sad and mainly just tired of her drama and manufactured chaos and then treating me like a casual acquaintance instead of her husband for 5 years who literally stayed through so much that 99% of men would have left her for. I feel so used and hollow, I had and have so much love to give, but she doesn’t care. 6 years together, 5 married and it’s less than nothing to her. How gross and cruel of her. I’ve had other breakups, but those were amicable and mutual, not like this.

 Stay strong everyone. We all have brighter days ahead if we don’t give up. This has to be the beginning of a better future. Thank you all for being there and who you are, no one deserves what they do to us.

[NotAHero]

I heard from my soon to be ex wife today, she sounded defeated, resigned, ready to finally get this over with officially. My lawyer says he’ll believe it when he sees the signed papers and terms. He’s right.

At the same time, less than a week ago she was asking me if I’m seeing anyone (I’m not) and seemingly trying to recycle and come back here.

I am just so emotionally tired of her push pull. It’s getting to the point where I would rather be single forever than have to try and make our marriage work.

I just don’t trust her anymore, and I hate that. But I guess that’s the reality of it.

I’m starting to hear from some friends back home where she is now (another state) saying they’ve ran into her there and asked what happened. They’re all in shock, they can tell she’s the crazy one and they’re offering me support, but how do I ever even begin to explain all this.

Just wanted to post this where people understand, I love and hate her so much. I want to save her again, but it might literally be the death of me if I do. I’m sad and mainly just tired of her drama and manufactured chaos and then treating me like a casual acquaintance instead of her husband for 5 years who literally stayed through so much that 99% of men would have left her for. I feel so used and hollow, I had and have so much love to give, but she doesn’t care. 6 years together, 5 married and it’s less than nothing to her. How gross and cruel of her. I’ve had other breakups, but those were amicable and mutual, not like this.

 Stay strong everyone. We all have brighter days ahead if we don’t give up. This has to be the beginning of a better future. Thank you all for being there and who you are, no one deserves what they do to us.

 Sometimes they do go through that phase feeling abandoned and defeated. In her emotionally stunted mind she may want to show you she is “good”. Use that and get the papers signed.

  Focus on moving on. Your life will be so much better with her in the rear view.

[Mack1]

I love that analogy about the rear view.
I imagine every day she in in my rear view mirror and I’m in a car with no brakes, and no reverse-heck, the steering doesn’t even work so no matter how much she tries to manipulate me back in. I can’t.
Keep moving forward. Leave them standing alone in the road.

[WhatToDo47]

Thank you both. I definitely think she’s in that stage now. Like she’s played all her manipulative cards and she’s starting to realize that her actions actually have consequences. She knows if she tries to be hysterical, yelling, screaming, it’s truly over. She’s hoping to play on my rescuer nature to say “poor girl, come home and I’ll make it all better.” But I can’t, I can’t fix her problems and ensure she never feels uncomfortable emotions again. I tried and ended up here, kicked to the curb, abused, and with some ptsd, barely survived honestly.

All of your analogies really help. Feeling stronger today, and remembering all I can control is myself. She will live her whole life like this unless she gets years or proper therapy. I, thankfully, can be done with this, and move forward to finding someone who is capable or mature, adult love.

Really appreciate you all.

[Mack1]

Thank you both. I definitely think she’s in that stage now. Like she’s played all her manipulative cards and she’s starting to realize that her actions actually have consequences. She knows if she tries to be hysterical, yelling, screaming, it’s truly over. She’s hoping to play on my rescuer nature to say “poor girl, come home and I’ll make it all better.” But I can’t, I can’t fix her problems and ensure she never feels uncomfortable emotions again. I tried and ended up here, kicked to the curb, abused, and with some ptsd, barely survived honestly.

All of your analogies really help. Feeling stronger today, and remembering all I can control is myself. She will live her whole life like this unless she gets years or proper therapy. I, thankfully, can be done with this, and move forward to finding someone who is capable or mature, adult love.

Really appreciate you all.

[WhatToDo47]

Thank you both. I definitely think she’s in that stage now. Like she’s played all her manipulative cards and she’s starting to realize that her actions actually have consequences. She knows if she tries to be hysterical, yelling, screaming, it’s truly over. She’s hoping to play on my rescuer nature to say “poor girl, come home and I’ll make it all better.” But I can’t, I can’t fix her problems and ensure she never feels uncomfortable emotions again. I tried and ended up here, kicked to the curb, abused, and with some ptsd, barely survived honestly.

All of your analogies really help. Feeling stronger today, and remembering all I can control is myself. She will live her whole life like this unless she gets years or proper therapy. I, thankfully, can be done with this, and move forward to finding someone who is capable or mature, adult love.

Really appreciate you all.

I think it didn't get your reply just the excerpt of mine. Started reading your post and it sounded familiar haha Are you able to try and post again I'm looking forward to what you have to say