Hi Kitcat - I'm sorry that you are going through this. It cant be easy especially with your own health issues - which I wish your every strength for. There is no answer to this other than to set clear boundaries with your daughter. At the same time you must look after yourself and seek help and advice / friendship of others when necessary. If you are isolated and on your own then it's going to be very tricky especially when your daughter's behaviour flares up. Only she can fix herself (seeking the right Therapy, Medication, and mixing with people that don't promote risk taking behaviour) - your job is to survive it. Others may have better informed thoughts on this.
JADE (dont Justify, Argue, Defend or Explain) and HALT (never engage when Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired) are also good techniques and make communication easier (see videos on this site) - using my son as an example they certainly have an impact although we are quite capable of taking steps forward and backwards - after all we are human and not infallible.
In addition to HALT - I avoid any alcohol consumption when speaking with my son - I need to be on my 'A game' with every ounce of balance available - any emoting on my part or lazy defensive response is a disaster!
Good luck!
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