Video I found very helpful

[RobertX]

I found some of the content extremely helpful and though provoking  - not an easy watch

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=117774

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[wendydarling]

Hi Robertx

I too found it insightful, it was one of the first videos I watched. It's in our video library, here is the link, with comments from members.

Video Library | Back from the Edge ~ Bill Litchenstein

WDx

[Gemsforeyes]

That was really really good... thank you Robert.

Gemsforeyes

[RobertX]

Some notes from the video in case people don’t get the time to watch it (others may have different take ways);

•   There is ongoing work exploring the neurological basis of BPD where the Amygdala (part of the brain that is responsible for emotion, fear and threat) is over active and the Frontal Cortex (involved in inhibiting the Amygdala – applying reason and balance) is underactive.  The end result being emotional dysregulation.
•   Self Harm regulates emotions in the short term – sense of relief afterwards – however does not solve the underlying issues.   Holding an ice cube has been shown as a good way to achieve the same results as self harm
•   pwBPD do and can get better
•   pwBPD often feel relief on diagnosis as it makes sense of their feeling and explains why they react as they do.  Makes them feel not alone.
•   The more you understand the better things get
•   DBT helps the patient think about their emotions in the third person
•   Unhelpful responses from family members include the urge to tell the patient to ‘shape up’
•   In an emotional / angry incident listen carefully for the ‘truths’ in what the patient is saying and affirm it.  Any untruths can be tackled later when they are calm.
•   I liked this comment ‘I love my son more than how much I dislike the emotional distress of BPD’
•   Once feelings have come out they feel better – if feelings don’t come out they can obsess about things
•   Being with a pwBPD in the family is devasting but our job is to tolerate the distress
•   Remission from the illness is common after a couple of years and relapses don’t tend to happen.
•   In time pwBPD learn how to regulate and manage ‘BPD’ moments
•   pwBPD are like burns victims with sore sensitive skin…emotional confrontation is like being touched
•   Be in it for the long haul – patients do get better.