Bpd Crisis

[Our abuse recovery guide]

So my husband's sister was diagnosed with bpd a few years ago. I am at my wits end and do not really want to have a relationship with her anymore as most of the time, when she is feeling vunreable, her bursts of anger are just too much to digest. I I need to know of a way of distancing myself without feeling her wrath. I do feel like I am anxious around her and because of her constant lies, I have to make sure I remember things. I've had enough and just need some advice to distance myself kindly but firmly. Any advice or things that have worked for others will be greatly appreciated.

[Musing]

So my husband's sister was diagnosed with bpd a few years ago. I am at my wits end and do not really want to have a relationship with her anymore as most of the time, when she is feeling vunreable, her bursts of anger are just too much to digest. I I need to know of a way of distancing myself without feeling her wrath. I do feel like I am anxious around her and because of her constant lies, I have to make sure I remember things. I've had enough and just need some advice to distance myself kindly but firmly. Any advice or things that have worked for others will be greatly appreciated.

[Methuen]

Hi Musing
Welcome to our community.
It sounds like your SIL has brought a lot of conflict into your life, and you are kind of at your wits end and need to self-protect, so you are seeking a way to have less contact with her, but without feeling her "wrath".

This site has so much info on "tools" we can use to manage the high conflict personality in our life.  Have you had a chance to find this section yet?  I have really found the info helpful, and put it to use in my daily life.  When I was new here, I started with the section "how to get the most out of this website".  Kinda life changing really.

As for your situation, does SIL live close to you?  How often is there contact with her?  What does that contact look like?

What is your husband's relationship with his sister like?

[Musing]

We see her Almost everyday. My husband does not have a close relationship with her. I was her favourite person at one point. But lately she has been insulting me quite regularly. But its brutal. I am told all the time about what I've done wrong, lots of elements of control- and just downright rude insults with apologies at times but I do feel a lack of real understanding about her actions. I cannot disagree with her at any given point.