Thats how they attempt to control, when your getting praise and raised on the pedistal it is just to make the next cutdown and fall harder. Dont buy into it either way. And the fact that you did nothing differently but they characterize it completley differently is part of keeping you off balance and confused about how and what your doing so they can always be the arbitors of what is real. Dilude your consistent sense of reality then you will fall for any of their crap, is the idea.
It used to keep me off balance, but for the last 2 years or so it hasn't. I've become so fed up with everything I either ignore it or call it out. Both responses set her off. Gets mad when I ignore it and gets mad if I call it out. The threat of divorce has been prominent for the last year or so. Always brings it up during confrontation. I just told her a few min ago that she can drop that stuff because it has just become a crutch for her. I'm sure that will make her mad too