Any thoughts on this one?

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

So for those of you who know my pregnant partner left the state and moved to the Midwest. Now we are to the point where a letter was sent from my atty requesting a paternity test which she is trying to get me to call off. In her move she broke her lease and (we lived together) and as anyone knows you will lose your security deposits if you do this. I received an email stating that if I pay her $3600 (double the deposit) she will consider discussing the lawyer topic with me. I didn’t respond. This is the second attempt kinda like this the first being if I drop the lawyer then she will consider visiting me with the child in a few months.
 Now she also continues to gaslight me saying I have anger issues. Obviously I know I don’t and can see it is gaslighting.She even said I obviously hired the atty because I’m angry. So anyone with stories of dealing with accusations such as this is appreciated.
 So far nobody I know sees the resemblance between myself and the child though the child is newborn but there are some stand out characteristics that lead me to deduce that it may not be mine plus the mom’s behavior. Now I tread lightly, careful with what I say.I don’t go into JADE I just collect letters. She hasn’t responded yet to the attorney and one guess is since she moved next to family and if it isn’t mine then a lot of things will come to light. She obviously doesn’t care about protecting me. So who? My gut instincts say it’s not my child but of course I need DNA. However I do feel like I would know upon seeing the picture but the child has is young.I only received one picture and it imo is purposely chosen as the eyes are closed and she is bundled up. I only received the photo because I asked and she took awhile to send it suggesting to me she was considering which one to send. There is no back and forth from her regarding the child and also no response denoting she is upset that I am seeking a paternity test other than she says ‘we can do better ourselves and the lawyers are simply a power play on my behalf to render her powerless which she won’t allow and it is simply going to be a long hard expensive journey that I chose.One last thing is she threatened me with an attorney a month ago and so I hired one. I know I’m doing the right thing and her behavior truly suggests that she most likely slept with someone else around the time of conception. Now she at that time had me help her track ovulation etc and I believe now that this was manipulation as she most likely realized she slipped up close to ovulation..ok thoughts?

[Firsttimefather]

So for those of you who know my pregnant partner left the state and moved to the Midwest. Now we are to the point where a letter was sent from my atty requesting a paternity test which she is trying to get me to call off. In her move she broke her lease and (we lived together) and as anyone knows you will lose your security deposits if you do this. I received an email stating that if I pay her $3600 (double the deposit) she will consider discussing the lawyer topic with me. I didn’t respond. This is the second attempt kinda like this the first being if I drop the lawyer then she will consider visiting me with the child in a few months.
 Now she also continues to gaslight me saying I have anger issues. Obviously I know I don’t and can see it is gaslighting.She even said I obviously hired the atty because I’m angry. So anyone with stories of dealing with accusations such as this is appreciated.
 So far nobody I know sees the resemblance between myself and the child though the child is newborn but there are some stand out characteristics that lead me to deduce that it may not be mine plus the mom’s behavior. Now I tread lightly, careful with what I say.I don’t go into JADE I just collect letters. She hasn’t responded yet to the attorney and one guess is since she moved next to family and if it isn’t mine then a lot of things will come to light. She obviously doesn’t care about protecting me. So who? My gut instincts say it’s not my child but of course I need DNA. However I do feel like I would know upon seeing the picture but the child has is young.I only received one picture and it imo is purposely chosen as the eyes are closed and she is bundled up. I only received the photo because I asked and she took awhile to send it suggesting to me she was considering which one to send. There is no back and forth from her regarding the child and also no response denoting she is upset that I am seeking a paternity test other than she says ‘we can do better ourselves and the lawyers are simply a power play on my behalf to render her powerless which she won’t allow and it is simply going to be a long hard expensive journey that I chose.One last thing is she threatened me with an attorney a month ago and so I hired one. I know I’m doing the right thing and her behavior truly suggests that she most likely slept with someone else around the time of conception. Now she at that time had me help her track ovulation etc and I believe now that this was manipulation as she most likely realized she slipped up close to ovulation..ok thoughts?

[BigOof]

Careful of what you wish for. If the child is yours, you're on the hook for a whole lot of child support.

[ForeverDad]

Has she claimed the baby is yours?  Has she said whose name is on the birth certificate as father?

Since she was supposed to be your GF during that time it may be that she can't admit it's not your baby.  That would be admitting to an affair.  Though you weren't married, it would still be admitting to being unfaithful.

However, you can't drop the request.  She wants you to drop it with faint promises that eventually you'd see the baby.  You still wouldn't know whether you're the father.

It's now at the point where even if she admitted to an affair or even a one night stand, for legal reasons you'd still need proof one way or the other.

[GaGrl]

You know you are doing the right thing. Stick with your current course.

Paying for her broken lease has nothing to do with determining your parentage. Don't let her distract you with irrelevancies.

If indeed you are the parent, you'll need the lawyer to draw up a support and parenting plan.

[Firsttimefather]

Thank you BO, FD, GG…
 All valid points and much appreciated. GG it is funny you should say that about irrelevance: a few people in my support circle all said the same thing. Last night the messages continued but this time was her offer of ‘one last opportunity for us to chat and come to a resolve or she will have no choice but to resort to other measures…’ ..The thing about that is it isn’t really in my hands anymore, it’s the lawyer she needs to respond to not me. Anyway I really appreciate everyone here. I often come here now to help keep me from getting ‘sucked in’ and it really helps. I can’t thank you all enough.