truthseeker1, I want to join with arjay in welcoming you to the group. You're really in the right place to be with people who understand that it's more than just normal range difficulties, and "why don't you guys talk through it" isn't going to cut it for advice.
arjay offered some great feedback for you, so I won't add too much at this time, besides noting two things:
-as you're on the "Bettering a relationship/reversing a breakup" board, we can walk with you as you find new, possibly counterintuitive ways of relating to your W that let you play the best of the cards you've been dealt. Nothing is a guarantee, yet there are "less worse" ways of interacting that can help lower the temperature of conflicts. Have you had a chance yet to check out some of the articles up top, in the "Tools" tab? If not, try starting with
Communication Skills - Don't Be Invalidating and let us know your thoughts.
-as you have a son in the mix, please feel welcome to look at our
Custody/Coparenting board (it's a combo of the Undecided/Conflicted board with Family Law/Divorce/Coparenting, so just pick the threads that seem relevant to you). arjay is correct that you'll have to maintain some level of contact with her due to sharing a child, but that can look a lot of different ways. If you like, feel free to share any challenges on that board, and the group can give support and feedback.
...
While I don't know of any "magic wand" or "foolproof" moves to "make" her see you a certain way again, I can comment that what we do have control over is how we communicate, if we use empathy and listen for the feelings behind the words, and if we don't invalidate. Those can sometimes lower reactivity in interactions. Food for thought.
Keep us in the loop on how you're doing;
kells76