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Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
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Author Topic: took the first step and met with a divorce lawyer  (Read 286 times)
thepixies21
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 81


« on: June 07, 2023, 03:31:35 PM »

I had so much anxiety leading up to this meeting, but I filled out all the paperwork required, and it was very detailed. It made it all seem very real, going through my bank accounts, credit cards, and thinking about any assets we might have. It was hard to get myself into the appointment but I did it. I do feel much better now, that at least I have an idea of what I'm dealing with, and it seems more manageable than I had anticipated in my head. I plan to meet with another divorce lawyer as recommended, but I think it has just solidified in my mind that I am ready to take this step.

I'm going to try my best to not think any more about this for the rest of the week and weekend. This has been a LOT to process, and I think my nervous system just needs a break. But I'm trying to take it one day at a time. I know the next part will be deciding when and how to tell him the news, and if I should have someone on standby in the event it doesn't go well. But I can't really process that right now. I have a couple extra days off this week and I want to make the most of them.

I just wanted to tell someone that I had taken this step which felt pretty big, and survived! Thanks for your help!
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ForeverDad
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: separated 2005 then divorced
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You can't reason with the Voice of Unreason...


« Reply #1 on: June 08, 2023, 03:40:51 PM »

That first step is oh so hard, yet as you make additional steps on the better path for you it will be less difficult to proceed.

Of course this consultation probably wasn't your very first step, probably that was accepting that you had to do something to regain your life.  Even so, this was a landmark step forward.
 Doing the right thing (click to insert in post)
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LifewithEase
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Relationship status: Married
Posts: 129


« Reply #2 on: June 09, 2023, 02:04:31 PM »

The first step seems big.

The step when you don't see your kids at the end of the day or rent the 1 room apartment or move away from your friends...

For some reason that seems so big
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