Adult daughter BPD with physical symptoms

[justdrained]

First I'd like to say that I'm so happy to have found this site. I've been reading through the posts and for once I don't feel like what we're the only people in the world who have been going through all of this.  Our 33 yo daughter had BPD and Bipolar disorder, I think a mix of petulant and impulsive. She lives with us because she has burned every other bridge and cannot live with anyone else.  She has alienated virtually every one else -  friend or family, except for her social media friends (whom she loves to post lies to about us all the time). One major issue we have that I don't seem to see elsewhere is she seems to have manifested physical issues. She has severe unrelenting vomiting, diarrhea, and abdominal pain that have caused numerous hospitilizations and cause her to be discharged from BH treatments before completing them.  All medical causes have been ruled out but she ends up so dehydrated that mental health facilities have to transfer her to medical facilities. We know she works herself up into her "episodes" to get out of treatment, just as she does at home whenever she perceives even the slighest affront.   She can't work due to her "episodes", hasn't worked in years, and has been fighting for disability which has already been denied twice. She is completely reliant on us financially but living with her is so difficult that we're not sure how much longer we can do it.  For example, she lives in the basement and sends nasty texts to us because people are making too much noise walking in the kitchen (during normal times of the day) because she is trying to nap. Just not sure how much more we can take but she can't ever seem to get any real treatment. Just don't know what to do anymore. Thanks for letting me vent

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Sancho]

Hi Justdrained. I wonder if your dd uses cannabis? It took me a long, long time and trips to ED to work out that the symptoms - abdominal pain, vomiting etc - were connected to her cannabis use. I was alerted to this many years ago by a friend whose nephew - non bpd - had all these symptoms, had myriads of tests, all negative - was finally diagnosed with Cannabinoid hyperemesis syndrome (CHS).

Sure enough I observed my dd and this was spot on! If she runs out of cannabis she starts to vomit, abdominal pain etc. Another person I know - non bpd - who uses cannabis constantly also has pain and nausea.

I have told my bpd dd about the connection but she doesn't want to hear anything I say!

[justdrained]

Hi Sancho,

Yes, and this is been brought up to her multiple times but ruled out as she still had symptoms when not using (she spent a couple months in jail and subsequent year with weekly testing so didn't use that entire time). Again last night, they transferred her from her 72 hour hold to a hospital for medical care so the cycle begins again...

[StepMothering]

justdrained
I can feel your frustration with the situation with your daughter. It is difficult to see past the physical issues to even address the mental health issues.

Since she is 33 years old, are the doctors communicating what they have or have not found directly with you? She doesn't have to allow them to communicate to you without express written approval (at least in the US).
We found that our 31yr old SD with BPD was lying or not telling the full truth to us about what doctors, psychologist, psychiatrists and therapists were telling her. 

Since the restriction in communication is only one way, we can communicate to these doctors so they know what we have been told, so that might be one avenue.

[Sancho]

Hi Justdrained
During the year she was getting tested, how many of these episodes did she have? Do you think they are correlated to a psychological stressor eg wanting to get out of therapy, not wanting to face the 'real world' of work etc.

Ps my dd can't stand any noise before about 11am. I'm not sure if this is part of the bpd brain or the substance abuse brain. It is much worse when she is withdrawing.

I am assuming they have done colonoscopies, x-rays etc. No wonder you are drained! Have been feeling at the end of my tether lately, not being able to see a way forward. I keep trying to find a way to just see my way through today, and hope there will be some possibility of change sometime in the future.

[river girl]

Hi Justdrained,  that sounds pretty miserable. It gets tricky with mental illness because their symptoms definitely can be induced by anxiety/depression, overwhelm etc.  Sancho made a good point about the cannibis and interestingly, the condition has been known about for a long time but until the debut of Uber high THC products hitting the market, was rarely seen. Now, any ER doctor will tell you that it’s all too common.


I have two other thoughts about possible conditions, both treatable. In children , there is a migraine variant known as “cyclic vomiting syndrome, and like migraine can be induced by stress, emotional upset. If you have family history of migraine, this is possible. Another condition,  frequently overlooked or under recognized is called “postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome.”  A solid internist with some experience will be aware of these conditions. It’s worth an evaluation. Taking her to the ER will not result in a diagnosis. Those providers are trained to take care of the problem and discharge patients not do the careful evaluation and detective work that will result in a meaningful evaluation.  Good luck and take care of yourself.