Just trying to live with my new bpd partner

[Depression = 72% of members]

I'm always wrong and I'm trying my best to understand what he is going through. He has been sober almost 10 months now and things in our relationship are weird I know soberity brings a lot of new emotions up. But lately he just isn't happy and always bothered or upset about something especially the tiny things. I try my best to just listen and understand what I can I do a lot of biting my tongue and keeping my mouth shut. Any advice on how to make things maybe happier or easier.

[Cassie1010]

I'm always wrong and I'm trying my best to understand what he is going through. He has been sober almost 10 months now and things in our relationship are weird I know soberity brings a lot of new emotions up. But lately he just isn't happy and always bothered or upset about something especially the tiny things. I try my best to just listen and understand what I can I do a lot of biting my tongue and keeping my mouth shut. Any advice on how to make things maybe happier or easier.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Jabiru]

Hi and welcome Is he diagnosed with BPD? What other symptoms do you see?

People with BPD are emotionally sensitive as you've noticed. Because of that, relationships with a pwBPD can be high conflict or lead the non-pwBPD (you) to bite their tongue and inflate like a balloon until it's too much. Take care of yourself. Make time to be alone or with family and friends. It's important to have a supportive community around you to keep a level head. Check the Tips menu at the top of the page for some good info. I also recommend the book "Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist". Thoughts?

[Rev]

I'm always wrong and I'm trying my best to understand what he is going through. He has been sober almost 10 months now and things in our relationship are weird I know soberity brings a lot of new emotions up. But lately he just isn't happy and always bothered or upset about something especially the tiny things. I try my best to just listen and understand what I can I do a lot of biting my tongue and keeping my mouth shut. Any advice on how to make things maybe happier or easier.

Hi Cassie,

Just wanting to say welcome here.  Great questions here.  Sobriety is a wrinkle in the mix as well.  People in recovery have been known to display borderline traits even if their issues are rooted in other things.

So along with J's advice, I would suggest looking into an Al-Anon group (for families) in your area.

Hang in there.

Reach out any time.

Rev