I think the final split over the chicken incident. Saw her last Friday to talk, she's adamant we are to break up.
Still see's me as a bad guy. Texts since between, she's giving me the impression she's torn. Some provoking, blame shifting, so texts implying this isn't the end (not in a direct way but in dangling a carrot type of way). e.t.c.
Saturday is the day she's coming to collect her stuff. She's been seeking attention today, monthly trying to bait me into emotional conversation, despite her being adamant and requesting that I keep the communication clinical.
I sense she's overwhelmed by emotional and doesn't have anywhere to dump them so is attempting to bury them.
Regardless... After a particular baiting video she sent to me today.
I replied with this.
https://www.facebook.com/share/r/wu6kRgsfAELZFzXi/Just a video with an apology. The content is very genuine, I'm truly sorry for any hurt I've caused her.
She is hurt and in her mind I am the cause of it. Regardless of it's justified on not. I wanted to apologise for any actions that may have led to her hurt.
I used the video as it was a way to be genuine and not go into a back and forth. Also an indirect way of communicating.
She told me thank you and that must have took a lot.
I replied with, I will find my strength in forgiveness and that will give me the strength to let go, in whatever way I need too.
I screenshoted her the quoted text below from a website, as she doesn't understand the concept forgiveness.
"Forgiveness! Now that is a superpower. It is a chance to reclaim control of your emotions, your thoughts and your behaviour."
"means to extend understanding towards those who have wronged or hurt us. It means to let go. In many cases, this is the letting go of some or all of the frustration, disappointment, resentment, or other painful feelings associated with an offence"
The apology and forgiveness was just as much for me as it was for her. It was a way of lighting myself from the load the relationship has put on my shoulders.
It's hard to explain but an act of self love. To let go of the relationship with an open heart , full of love and non of the weight.
Reclaiming my own power which I choose to give away.
I think I can be at peace with it now.
