About Disclosure to the uBPD?

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

I'm disengaged, I think he's disengaged. I haven't heard from him in 3 weeks and I didn't write to him after that message. Some time in the next few weeks I need to reach out about getting some of the more valuable/expensive/important items that he still has in his house and give him anything else I've got of his.
I suspect he will try to re-engage. There's this big part of me that wants to share with him that he meets all the diagnostic criteria for BPD, but I keep seeing that's a bad idea. I'd love to know more. I think I'm hopeful that since he kept saying he wanted to work on things and making at least some strides toward treatment/change, he would want the information and do good with it....
Thank you!

[try2heal]

I'm disengaged, I think he's disengaged. I haven't heard from him in 3 weeks and I didn't write to him after that message. Some time in the next few weeks I need to reach out about getting some of the more valuable/expensive/important items that he still has in his house and give him anything else I've got of his.
I suspect he will try to re-engage. There's this big part of me that wants to share with him that he meets all the diagnostic criteria for BPD, but I keep seeing that's a bad idea. I'd love to know more. I think I'm hopeful that since he kept saying he wanted to work on things and making at least some strides toward treatment/change, he would want the information and do good with it....
Thank you!

[once removed]

I think I'm hopeful that since he kept saying he wanted to work on things and making at least some strides toward treatment/change, he would want the information and do good with it....

is this why you want to tell him? to rekindle the relationship?

[try2heal]

At this point, no. But your (mis)reading of my post makes me realize I sometimes slip back into that hopeful space. No. I have hope that he's able to eventually become healthy for himself, and for his children whom I love. But no. I"m done with him.

[PeteWitsend]

At this point, no. But your (mis)reading of my post makes me realize I sometimes slip back into that hopeful space. No. I have hope that he's able to eventually become healthy for himself, and for his children whom I love. But no. I"m done with him.

It's fine to hope that, but remember that pwBPD don't see the world as you and I do, and can read the same sentence very differently.

They usually perceive being told they're BPD / need therapy / wrong as a personal attack and respond accordingly, often with projection... they just say "no YOU'RE the one who is BPD and needs help." 

and then you're back to square one

[try2heal]

Thank you! I won't say anything.