DBT therapy

[Alex0408]

Hello! I am new to this forum and seeking help. My daughter (20) has been advised by her psychiatrist to take DBT. We live in Colombia and this therapy is quite expensive here. I understand that the tools she will acquire will help her cope with BPD the rest of her life. I appreciate any advice from your own experience if any parent has taken this coaching in his/her own hands.
Thanks!

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[kells76]

Hello and a warm

Glad you found us. Family learning and family growth can certainly help improve the situation for a person with BPD (pwBPD) -- or, at minimum, can help the family stop accidentally making things worse.

It sounds like your D20 has a diagnosis and is in treatment? Does she agree with the diagnosis, and is she compliant with treatment/going regularly?

From what I've heard on the boards here, parents and family members have had varying degrees of success with being the person directly implementing DBT skills with the pwBPD. Sometimes the relationship is too close and it's not successful -- some pwBPD need a little more distance in the relationship (like with a therapist/someone more neutral) to be able to take in the skills. Other parents do have some success with reminding their adult child to do things like self-care, deep breathing, and other skills. So, it depends.

It may still help, even if you can't be the one teaching your child DBT, for you to educate yourself about the approach and skills involved. There should be plenty of free and reputable resources online for family DBT education; a great place to start (besides our section of articles!) is the National Education Alliance for Borderline Personality Disorder. Their Family Connections program is well regarded.

Is your D20 living at home? Do you have other children, too?

Keep us in the loop -- we'll be here for you;

kells76

[Alex0408]

Thank you Kells76,
I'll be looking at those sites for more on DBT for caregivers.
My daughter is currently living with her grandparents. I am divorced and have another son (24).
The whole family nucleus is a bit dispersed now and that doesn't help much, but we are trying to make the best out of present circumstances.

[CC43]

Alex,

I think the good news is that your daughter is seeing a psychiatrist already.  Is she consistent about seeing the psychiatrist?  Does she appear to "buy into" getting some help to make her feel better?  Has she been diagnosed with BPD?  If so, how do you think she took the diagnosis?

I'm asking because therapies like DBT need cooperation from your daughter in order to work, in my opinion.  It sounds like she is cooperating, so that's a huge plus.

If there are no good DBT programs in your area, you might consider having your daughter take a course online.  That might be more affordable and convenient.  I don't know if those courses are effective, however.  But if they are paired with seeing a psychiatrist that your daughter trusts, that might do some good.

Another tip I have is to consider asking your daughter if she would like you to attend some of her sessions with her psychiatrist.  That presumes you have a good relationship with your daughter right now.  My diagnosed BPD stepdaughter had a few joint therapy sessions with her dad, and I think they helped considerably with the healing process, because her dad had more insight into her thinking patterns and could be a better "partner" to his daughter.  They were able to conduct these joint sessions in person, which might not be possible for you.  But maybe you could join by videoconference?

In addition, my stepdaughter authorized her dad to speak with her therapist when he thought it was necessary.  This created a "team" effort in my stepdaughter's treatment.  So, for example, when my stepdaughter skipped sessions (with no explanation), or she seemed like she was going through a rough patch, her dad could chat with her therapist to get some insights and advice about what to do.  I think this "alliance" really helped my stepdaughter get on the right track.  Note that it didn't happen right away--initially she didn't agree to this arrangement.  But eventually she did, and I think it helped.

Good luck to you both.