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[anettefilo]

Hello, i'm feeling alone and i'm terrified. My daughter has BPD and i am totally lost. 3 weeks ago we find about it and we make efforts to understand what's going on. Is anybody in this situation?

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Sancho]

Hi anettefilo
We have all been in this situation at one point in time. First of all can I say that by coming here you will not feel alone. We all have our individual circumstance but we all know the challenge of the journey with a loved BPD child.

I was so confused about what was happening. I kept wondering if it was autism, bipolar etc and on and on I went trying to make sense of the chaos that was all around me. It can be terrifying. Also though, when you do have a diagnosis, it makes sense of the chaos. When you look at the criteria for a diagnosis, it is easier to understand the things you are seeing in your child’s life: impulsivity; fear of abandonment, intense emotions etc.

As you read other posts you will be able to recognise some of the things that you have to deal with in your situation. Also there are many resources here to help you develop some skills in relating to your child with these complex needs.

You are not alone, and I hope you will continue to share your journey with us so that we can all learn together and support each other.

[ChitChatCharley]

You're definitely not alone - my daughter got her diagnosis about a little over a month ago. I remember feeling how it sounds like you feel - alone and terrified.

I can also echo what Sancho said: about "wondering if it was autism, bipolar etc and on and on" and "trying to make sense of the chaos that was all around". My daughter was diagnosed with ADHD when she was 7 - for so long, I kept getting told it was just ADHD, but I knew there was something else. I initially wondered if it was ASPD, the psychiatrist wondered if it might not be Autism - then the psychologist said BPD and it all fell into place.

May I ask how old your daughter is? Mine is 16.

[js friend]

Hi anettefilo,

My dd has never been officially diagnosed but I knew something was wrong as her behaviour was so extreme and nothing seemed to work with her. I researched her behaviours online and found this site and realised that many of her behaviours fit the criteria for Bpd. It was such a relief to actually find out what was happening and that there was actually a name for it. Before discovering this I too wondered what it could be. Before that a family therapist we saw briefly even said that I was the problem!. My udd loved that. Giving it a name actually made it a lot less scary for me because I was n the right track and I could better understand perhaps why my udd was doing the things she did and I also was able to learn the tools to cope better with my dds behaviours.

[BPDstinks]

Hi!  You are DEFINETLY not alone...BPD is the oddest of scenarios I have ever dealt with!