I will do my best here...cuz I am rather poor at describing the finer points.
But sad that the person who in many ways has caused me to dig deep in my soul look at my foo issues to find this confidence can't share in the joys that the self esteem, skills, etc have given me.
Of course he's not going to be happy about that...he loses control over you when you start setting those boundaries around you. He can't tear at you in the same manner anymore.
He couldn't deal with me being insisent and thought I was unreasonable for standing up for myself.
Standing up for yourself doesn't necessarily mean being insistent...just do it. Let your actions speak alone.
I feel overly criticized and misunderstood by him when I made mistakes while I was growing my wings and learning skills
Did you think he was going to validate any of that? Never!
I hear the stories of how you and your H and others have or/are overcoming the behaviors and I want to be able to also.
Not overcome...the behaviors are still present...how I deal with them, is another matter.
So I pushed my desires and he pushed back by breaking up with me and saying this isn't what he wants.
He doesn't want someone who is not willing to be a doormat. ok.
I am now in the mode to accept it.
Yeeeeeeahhhh...not really. Not sure even how to explain it, it comes from within you.
1. I know he's going to act like a nut sometimes.
2. Not a darn thing I can do about that.
3. Some times...it's just hilarious...I have to stop myself from laughing...and focus on Validation.
4. I feel so sorry for the inner turmoil that takes over him...and nothing I can do about it.
5. I know who I AM. And if for any reason it's not enough for him..----> the door is that way, don't be thinking you're coming back any time soon...if ever. I love him, it will hurt like hell...*oh well* been through worse. I will survive just fine thank you.
6.
What more should I be doing? Or what other things can I be doing to help me? I tried to sleep I only could sleep for an hour. So in the last two days I've had maybe 4 hours of sleep. Am I heading in the right direction?
Eeyore...working on what you ReALLy want. This revolving chaos he's got you trapped in...you are allowing it. He doesn't cut you free of it...you cut yourself free.