My BPD ex girl experience combined with this site and therapy just saved my tail

[Depression = 72% of members]

So here I am again back on this site this time I'm equipped with experience and knowledge from my past relationship with my BPD ex girlfriend. When I first came here I was torn to pieces to say the least and didn't know what the hell hit just hit me. I won't go into detail of that BPD story because I've already visited it in the past. However I will say that since then I have healed from that experience completely and don't feel pain from it anymore. I actually never thought I would say this but at this point I feel sorry for that particular ex diagnosed with BPD. We still don't speak and she attempted a reach out in July which I shut down very quickly and cut the cord immediately.

I have a new story that just happened a few days ago, right before Christmas but I won't bother even writing the full story at this point because In the past I've written on here so much that the story doesnt matter as much as the end result.

So I am 99.9% sure I just ended something and went immediate no contact with a NPD woman this time. I ended this about 2.5 months in. I had enough information based off her actions and also enough infomation based off my past expereince and past research as well as past therapy to know exactly what I had in front of me. In my opinion I still have some more work to do though because my reaction should have been quicker. I'm about 1.5 months too slow with extracting her however I do feel that since she worked at my location at my new job at the time this is actually more perfect timing being that she is out of my face. Maybe some other time I'll post the whole story but it kinda feels pointless. The point is that once she tranferred out I continued to see her but recognized her for who she was and dropped her. So far she has called from Whats App and i blocked her. Called from her normal cell number and I blocked it. Called from the other location phone and I blocked it. Then also called from another number which I got caught off guard and answered but told her I know shes nuts and want nothing to do with her.

See because of this site and my experience I know that any contact what so ever will fuel her. I also know that any contact what so ever will put me in danger. She tried showing up two days in a row to "workout" being we both work for the same GYM chain and both times I ran out the door and didnt give her a chance to even do anything. I do no speak to her or even look at her. I know this game very well and I am very well protected. I just wanted to share because these experiences that happen to us actually do strenghten us. I don't know if she will continue with it but if she does I will keep avoiding her and give no interaction what so ever. She tried telling me we must speak because people have seen us together alot when she worked for my location but I told her no I dont because she doesnt work here anymore and we have nothing to discuss. She tried the crying thing saying please forgive me and I said no not this time and hung up. I guess the last resort is this. I'm also expecting her to try to pull some jealousy tactic like maybe bring a guy in the gym or something but I am going to keep doing the same which is avoid avoid avoid and avoid some more. I know this game very well I know any reaction to her so long as its a form of contact is a win. I'm also not trying to win I am just trying to protect myself from the crazy making crap. I hate to say this but this is the one time I'm greatful for that BPD experience I had years ago and I am grateful I had this site to turn to when things were rough. I have suspicion this particular woman would have been worse then my ex. I am not gonna lie I do feel slight pain and anxiety but its been 3 days and it's damn near almost gone. It gets lighter and lighter each day. Thanks everyone 

[AG]

So here I am again back on this site this time I'm equipped with experience and knowledge from my past relationship with my BPD ex girlfriend. When I first came here I was torn to pieces to say the least and didn't know what the hell hit just hit me. I won't go into detail of that BPD story because I've already visited it in the past. However I will say that since then I have healed from that experience completely and don't feel pain from it anymore. I actually never thought I would say this but at this point I feel sorry for that particular ex diagnosed with BPD. We still don't speak and she attempted a reach out in July which I shut down very quickly and cut the cord immediately.

I have a new story that just happened a few days ago, right before Christmas but I won't bother even writing the full story at this point because In the past I've written on here so much that the story doesnt matter as much as the end result.

So I am 99.9% sure I just ended something and went immediate no contact with a NPD woman this time. I ended this about 2.5 months in. I had enough information based off her actions and also enough infomation based off my past expereince and past research as well as past therapy to know exactly what I had in front of me. In my opinion I still have some more work to do though because my reaction should have been quicker. I'm about 1.5 months too slow with extracting her however I do feel that since she worked at my location at my new job at the time this is actually more perfect timing being that she is out of my face. Maybe some other time I'll post the whole story but it kinda feels pointless. The point is that once she tranferred out I continued to see her but recognized her for who she was and dropped her. So far she has called from Whats App and i blocked her. Called from her normal cell number and I blocked it. Called from the other location phone and I blocked it. Then also called from another number which I got caught off guard and answered but told her I know shes nuts and want nothing to do with her.

See because of this site and my experience I know that any contact what so ever will fuel her. I also know that any contact what so ever will put me in danger. She tried showing up two days in a row to "workout" being we both work for the same GYM chain and both times I ran out the door and didnt give her a chance to even do anything. I do no speak to her or even look at her. I know this game very well and I am very well protected. I just wanted to share because these experiences that happen to us actually do strenghten us. I don't know if she will continue with it but if she does I will keep avoiding her and give no interaction what so ever. She tried telling me we must speak because people have seen us together alot when she worked for my location but I told her no I dont because she doesnt work here anymore and we have nothing to discuss. She tried the crying thing saying please forgive me and I said no not this time and hung up. I guess the last resort is this. I'm also expecting her to try to pull some jealousy tactic like maybe bring a guy in the gym or something but I am going to keep doing the same which is avoid avoid avoid and avoid some more. I know this game very well I know any reaction to her so long as its a form of contact is a win. I'm also not trying to win I am just trying to protect myself from the crazy making crap. I hate to say this but this is the one time I'm greatful for that BPD experience I had years ago and I am grateful I had this site to turn to when things were rough. I have suspicion this particular woman would have been worse then my ex. I am not gonna lie I do feel slight pain and anxiety but its been 3 days and it's damn near almost gone. It gets lighter and lighter each day. Thanks everyone 

[itgetsbetter94]

AG, you're a poster child for what my T said- "this was a life lesson and because of that, you'll be able to recognize other BPD/NPD people that will enter your life". You learned your lesson and acted accordingly.  You don't sound like your feelings are much hurt either. You recognized it for what it is and escaped in time.
I was so happy when I read that you healed 100% from your first BPD experience- I want to believe that is possible.  I want that for myself more than everything.
Once you educate yourself about cluster B, you cannot be tricked twice. It does take your innocence in a sense that if someone comes masked in everything you ever dreamed of, that you'll always be suspicious if the ugly face will appear soon. Or if someone puts you on a throne, there is always a possibility that the higher they put you, the more painful the fall would be. You can't trust anybody new only on their word, if someone is too much of a victim, you cannot allow yourself no ending empathy. My life and my world is permanently changed. I grew up in a way. I don't believe anymore that love conquers all, that love cures everything etc. Love can easily put you in a spider web.
I just wish I'll completely detach from my previous r/s, as you did and gain the same wisdom and clarity.

[once removed]

what happened?

[AG]

what happened?

Similar to BPD man but different. Trying to nudge me into some one sided rules. Trying to disrespect me verbally, Trying to disrespect any and all females she viewed as competition, Trying to nudge me into her being able to talk to other men while I cant date other women, Bleeding my pockets with no output on her end what so ever, Raging when you say no, Constant looking in the mirror or at herself on the phone even when she just asked you a question, Constantly flirting with other men or seeking attention, Trying to insult me or downplay me in front of women she feels like me, The list goes on and on. I can give you just two examples of my 3 month journey with her that will let you know where her mind is. The first one happened last week when I found a condom wrapper on her bed when I asked her about it she blamed it on her roommate and said that she doesn't know how her daughter got it but she came in her room and the condom was in her daughters mouth like a balloon. Two days after that she even went as far as to call me on video chat with one of my condoms I left there blown up to show me that her 2 year old daughter blows them up like a balloon. When I decided to end things this week for another reason besides the condom one she couldn't handle the rejection and told me that the case with the condom was another guy who was a member from the gym came over and she slept with him but shes telling me now becuz shes an honest woman. Ummmm ok so that means you Blew up a condom like a balloon and put it in your daughters mouth to scheme me into believing the whole condom story. Which means she has no bounds to her lies and which also means she is just crazy. When I said do you realize how sick that is she said well it wasn't a used condom it was a fresh one. She also just kept getting tripped over her lies with it and couldn't remember her own time lines with the incident claiming she slept with him only once but it was last month however I found the wrapper 1 week prior. Then when I left her she tried calling back and retracting it saying the whole sex thing was a lie but at that point I was very aware I was dealing with a disturbed person. Fortunately I had stumbled across NPD info during my years of dealing with BPD. To be honest I suspected her upon month 1 and that is when I should have dropped her. I am literally two months too slow and endured way too much. Knowing what I know I doubt she will let this slide this easily being that I wouldn't even let her get anymore wording in nor did I let her get access to me. Evertime I see her I just literally run and evertime she calls I just block the number or hang up. The story and specifics don't really matter it just matters that I have done the math and added everything up and it equals to nut job opportunist. Her reasoning or backround as to how she got like that is none of my business. The only thing important is to safe guard my mind while its very much in tact.

[once removed]

The only thing important is to safe guard my mind while its very much in tact.

theres a lot there. what is it that attracted you to her?

[AG]

theres a lot there. what is it that attracted you to her?

Shes very attractive so initially upon sight it was her attractiveness. She also appealed to my sense of this could be a good woman. At this point in my life Im 1 year from gearing up to buy property. As far as the beginning stages she appealed to my sense of her being a good woman. Her theme would probably go something like this "Im a good christian woman, I work hard, I will clean ,cook , have unlimited sex with you, and I can be so loving but just not too loving now because Im going thru a divorce, but dont worry because I have been out of love in that Marriage for years and I was treated poorly too so just wait a bit and you will see an even better me later on when this divorce process is finished"... .In short there was of course good blended in with the bad but my  internal alarms were ringing from about week two. At that point I didnt suspect BPD or NPD but I just had uneasy feelings. As I said before Im about two months too slow. I def still got some work to do. However had this been before my BPD ex I could def see this have been dragged on fof years. Today is about day 4 NC I feel zero anxiety and zero pain. I just have thoughts and my brain is still adding stuff up occasionally going "ahhhhh that makes sense now or this makes sense".

[Husband321]

Shes very attractive so initially upon sight it was her attractiveness. She also appealed to my sense of this could be a good woman. At this point in my life Im 1 year from gearing up to buy property. As far as the beginning stages she appealed to my sense of her being a good woman. Her theme would probably go something like this "Im a good christian woman, I work hard, I will clean ,cook , have unlimited sex with you, and I can be so loving but just not too loving now because Im going thru a divorce, but dont worry because I have been out of love in that Marriage for years and I was treated poorly too so just wait a bit and you will see an even better me later on when this divorce process is finished"... .In short there was of course good blended in with the bad but my  internal alarms were ringing from about week two. At that point I didnt suspect BPD or NPD but I just had uneasy feelings. As I said before Im about two months too slow. I def still got some work to do. However had this been before my BPD ex I could def see this have been dragged on fof years. Today is about day 4 NC I feel zero anxiety and zero pain. I just have thoughts and my brain is still adding stuff up occasionally going "ahhhhh that makes sense now or this makes sense".

Wow.  Verbatim. My wife.

"Unlimited sex. I will cook.  I will clean. Love you forever. You haven't seen the best me yet. The future will be amazing once this child custody thing is done".

[AG]

Wow.  Verbatim. My wife.

"Unlimited sex. I will cook.  I will clean. Love you forever. You haven't seen the best me yet. The future will be amazing once this child custody thing is done".

Yup they are very good at selling spray painted rotten fruit but before you know it you are eating fruit that is far from nourishing for your body. Even afterwards the sales pitch is so damn good that you actually sit there missing rotten fruit that wqs destroying you in the first place.I now know what her "abusive" soon to be ex husband was experperiencing and Im not condoning violence because he could have done what I did and walked out the rotten Garden but I do hqve a glimpse of whqt he was going through.