Is low self esteem another form of Bpd?

[Depression = 72% of members]

i know low self esteem is one of the diag points but when you read up on low self esteem symptoms they are very close to Bpd any thoughts

www.getesteem.com/lse-symptoms/behavioral.html

[mitatsu]

i know low self esteem is one of the diag points but when you read up on low self esteem symptoms they are very close to Bpd any thoughts

www.getesteem.com/lse-symptoms/behavioral.html

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[Sunfl0wer]

Reading that info, one could think that low self esteem = BPD  It does look almost identical!

I think the truth is more that low self esteem a necessary element to exist for BPD to surface?

I guess if low self esteem were on a continuum then BPD would be at the higher end of that scale.

[shatterd]

sunflower   i dot into an agrument with our counsler about this a mnth ago   im prbly rong  wood like ur take tho     selfesteem and BPD  the issue    i left the room for breif potty break  came back in and they were talking about selfesteem   ok thats way off subject from what we were discussing  so i askd what was that about   just being me i felt kinda betrayd or cheeted then  y wood they be talkng about her self esteem wen were in maraige counsling? there response was the familar  blow me off thing  so its whatever  i replyd dickish i guess  i felt something then   woodnt u be working on self esteem to leeve somebody or put urself out there for something bettr? and ya they changed the subject  figures  and she jets the next week or so    so do u have any thoughts on this?

[Sunfl0wer]

sunflower   i dot into an agrument with our counsler about this a mnth ago   im prbly rong  wood like ur take tho     selfesteem and BPD  the issue    i left the room for breif potty break  came back in and they were talking about selfesteem   ok thats way off subject from what we were discussing  so i askd what was that about   just being me i felt kinda betrayd or cheeted then  y wood they be talkng about her self esteem wen were in maraige counsling? there response was the familar  blow me off thing  so its whatever  i replyd dickish i guess  i felt something then   woodnt u be working on self esteem to leeve somebody or put urself out there for something bettr? and ya they changed the subject  figures  and she jets the next week or so    so do u have any thoughts on this?

It is completely valid and helpful to talk about self esteem during marriage counseling.

You want a partner that feels secure and strong when working on repairing the relationship.  If there are difficulties with esteem with either partner, it would be helpful for the counselor to bring them to the surface. 

You may have felt left out as the conversation did shift with your absense.  It could have opened up the opportunity to chat about something with you gone, or maybe it was a coincedence, either possibility is ok.  It is possible that esteem is easier talked about with females than males and this can leave you feeling left out?

I think it is a good thing that you brought up your concern. Therapy is most effective when we are honest and don't hold back.  The therapist cannot help what you may be too embarassed to reveal, so don't be embarassed, you should feel safe there.  Being honest is especially important if you are having issue with trusting the therapist or the therapeutic process in some way.

[shatterd]

glad u said that   my point exactly   starting to question my theropist   i was tryng to coaralte selfesteem to what was going on  i thought she was secure with me  i didnt see the relavnce then   thank you

[Sunfl0wer]

glad u said that   my point exactly   starting to question my theropist   i was tryng to coaralte selfesteem to what was going on  i thought she was secure with me  i didnt see the relavnce then   thank you

YW!

In the context of self esteem: 

Secure has more to do with her, does she feel secure about who she is as a person?  Is she confident?

Looking back to the OP link, you can see how having low self esteem can cause tremendous personal and relationship issues.

[shatterd]

no to both of those   however tho for her  when she gets built up   she takes it to far over the edge   sometimes i believe being over cofindent leads to this decline of leaving for another duesh bag    i dnt get no job no car no money no place   cant spell his own name and so on   ?   yup fml

[Sunfl0wer]

no to both of those   however tho for her  when she gets built up   she takes it to far over the edge   sometimes i believe being over cofindent leads to this decline of leaving for another duesh bag    i dnt get no job no car no money no place   cant spell his own name and so on   ?   yup fml

So are you saying that you do not believe that she is secure knowing who she is?

And also not confident?

I am uncertain about her being over confident.

Is it possible that she is actually not confident at all, however appearing over confident to appear confident?

[shatterd]

its confuseing   shes neither confident or secure in herself or life   however wen she gets the urge to try to be   its like wachting a maddona video   she has to be witha guy to prove a point to her self or something  and to others for attention   i realy dont anymore

[an0ught]

Low self esteem is an important topic in BPD context, one we may not have talked here much in the recent past so it is worth a look.

BPD is a condition that is driven by multiple factors. It's symptoms, which may well change over time and situational, can resemble many other distinct mental illnesses that have other causes and that have a much clearer symptomatic profile. The root causes for BPD are deeper than low self esteem e.g. impulsiveness, splitting and tendency to invalidate happening often at times when the pwBPD is stressed and is losing control over emotions.

What is often common in people with low self esteem and pwBPD is anxiety, inner pain and higher levels of stress. Relieving LSE certainly can help a pwBPD and may reduce symptoms but won't fix a BPD itself. Whether all pwBPD suffer from low self esteem is not clear to me, some may have a too warped view of themselves or at least on the surface have dominating narcissistic thinking.

It is comfortable to think about LSE as a problem of pwBPD but what about us nons? I would argue that LSE can be a big driver for co-dependency. Overcoming LSE in ourselves is a step towards our healing. It requires examining ourselves and coming to terms with it - while this board certainly can benefit from LSE discussion and please post more of it one often finds LSE related insight on our [L6] Personal Inventory and Self-awareness board which requires a certain post count.

A key mechanism for LSE is dysfunctional self talk provided by our "inner critic". It is quite difficult to convince that guy as it has perfect knowledge of our shortcomings and if that is not sufficient has the ability to make some convincing ones up. Direct attacks (mantra: I am great, I am great, I am great) are bound to fail as they are self invalidating. Disarming this critter is possible, may require deeper understanding of yourself, different thinking about yourself and possibly therapy. Some literature to get started: Self-Esteem: A Proven Program of Cognitive Techniques... .- McKay M., Fanning P.