Home page of BPDFamily.com, online relationship supportMember registration here
May 02, 2024, 02:53:56 PM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins: Kells76, Once Removed, Turkish
Senior Ambassadors: Cat Familiar, EyesUp, SinisterComplex
  Help!   Boards   Please Donate Login to Post New?--Click here to register  
bing
Depression = 72% of members
Take the test, read about the implications, and check out the remedies.
111
Pages: [1]   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: Trying to savvy  (Read 376 times)
StartingHealing
***
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Divorced
Posts: 115



« on: November 29, 2021, 07:10:22 AM »

Hello all,

I'm trying to savvy something.  I understand that what gets said by wBPD is a reflection of what their current emotional state. 

I'm having trouble at the moment in accepting the small nuggets of positive that are directed at me.   

Not that I'm discounting wBPD emotions, it's since I'm always looking beyond what is said and attempting to figure out what is going on behind the scenes to give emotional validation, I'm having a time in accepting what is being said to me in the positive.

Any ideas?

Thanks 

Logged
PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES
This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

Jabiru
Ambassador
***
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 173



« Reply #1 on: November 30, 2021, 07:51:59 PM »

In my experience, hidden meanings are a losing game and you wind up with false assumptions and hurt feelings on both sides. I take what my uBPDw says literally and I speak literally. If in doubt, I ask in clear language to confirm.

For validation, I mainly try to avoid being invalidating. Too much validation and it can seem forced.
Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?

Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife



Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2006-2020, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!