Didn't fall for the crocodile tears

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

We're in the final stages of settling out the divorce. Today we discussed a couple of days with regard to the time sharing. She then started into a crybaby act about how she'll only have $500 left to pay rent... .and that the only places you can get stuff that cheap is "in the ghetto". She's a bookkeeper - she manages the finances for a title company and law firm, moving millions of dollars around regularly. She'll also have over $40,000 in lump sum money and she's getting well over the amount she's entitled to for child support: I just didn't want to fight. She certainly wasn't happy when I mentioned her $369 car payment when mine is only $150 for a much nicer car.

I did good and stayed very diplomatic. I did try to help a little by crunching her numbers and showing [the bookkeeper) that she can buy a decent house or condo and that there's plenty of money left for housing expenses. I didn't get very far, but I was happy with my ability to stay detached and not make it my problem.

[lockedout]

We're in the final stages of settling out the divorce. Today we discussed a couple of days with regard to the time sharing. She then started into a crybaby act about how she'll only have $500 left to pay rent... .and that the only places you can get stuff that cheap is "in the ghetto". She's a bookkeeper - she manages the finances for a title company and law firm, moving millions of dollars around regularly. She'll also have over $40,000 in lump sum money and she's getting well over the amount she's entitled to for child support: I just didn't want to fight. She certainly wasn't happy when I mentioned her $369 car payment when mine is only $150 for a much nicer car.

I did good and stayed very diplomatic. I did try to help a little by crunching her numbers and showing [the bookkeeper) that she can buy a decent house or condo and that there's plenty of money left for housing expenses. I didn't get very far, but I was happy with my ability to stay detached and not make it my problem.

[imstronghere2]

 

Congrats man.  Good luck to you through this and to your kids.  You did the right thing. 

[Infared]

Here is a line I learned in my self help group.

"... .are those tears of sadness or are they tears of manipulation?"

... .usually cleans it up pretty quick! 

[pavilion]

I can tell the difference between genuine sadness and manipulation with my ex now. With the latter he looks like a 6 year old child pouting and giving me the puppy dog eyes. It really doesn't get to me like it used to. 

[Visitor]

I remember I used to answer the phone to her and would hear the sniffling and crying before she even started talking... .

At first I was sympathetic but after the 1000th time I was a bit --->