This relief makes me feel very guilty. I wonder if the problem is in my head. Thus the title of this thread. Am I dealing with my lost love who is out there waiting to be rescued as she claims. Am I dealing with a ghost because the woman I loved is dead. Or am I dealing with a fantasy that never was real and when I woke up found out it was a nightmare. I am done with her and it hurts bad after 16 years but i cannot shake the fog and need to know if this is a common feeling.
The relief you felt was you experiencing seeing through the fog. It seemed strange because it's new to you. Patterns are changing. The stuff you're going through is very common. You're not alone in what you're feeling. Many here are right there with you.
If she's waiting to be rescued, she could better use her time helping heal herself. I understand what you're saying but, she's not 'dead' she's disordered. You're seeing beneath her masks. Seeing yourself more, too. Which lead to you not being able to stay with her. I felt guilty, too, ending things between my ex and I. But there was nothing else that I could do to help us stay together. I still love her, and always will. Facing that the person closest to me, who I felt to spend the rest of my life with, was also hurting me so deeply, opened my eyes so much they could never close that way again.
I feel for her, and what she's going through, too, but the focus has to be on ourselves to best get through anything in life, falling-apart relationships included. Sorry for what you're going through. Read, post and reach out here, as often as you need, this is a very healing place and will help you as you continue with your detaching.
