Diagnosis + Treatment
The Big Picture
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? [ Video ]
Five Dimensions of Human Personality
Think It's BPD but How Can I Know?
DSM Criteria for Personality Disorders
Treatment of BPD [ Video ]
Getting a Loved One Into Therapy
Top 50 Questions Members Ask
Home page
Forum
List of discussion groups
Making a first post
Find last post
Discussion group guidelines
Tips
Romantic relationship in or near breakup
Child (adult or adolescent) with BPD
Sibling or Parent with BPD
Boyfriend/Girlfriend with BPD
Partner or Spouse with BPD
Surviving a Failed Romantic Relationship
Tools
Wisemind
Ending conflict (3 minute lesson)
Listen with Empathy
Don't Be Invalidating
Setting boundaries
On-line CBT
Book reviews
Member workshops
About
Mission and Purpose
Website Policies
Membership Eligibility
Please Donate
September 20, 2024, 08:22:13 PM
Welcome,
Guest
. Please
login
or
register
.
1 Hour
5 Hours
1 Day
1 Week
Forever
Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins:
Kells76
,
Once Removed
,
Turkish
Senior Ambassadors:
EyesUp
,
SinisterComplex
Help!
Boards
Please Donate
Login to Post
New?--Click here to register
Parents! Get help here!
Saying "I need help" is a huge first step. Here is what to do next.
112
BPDFamily.com
>
Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD
>
Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD
> Topic:
I miss my son
Pages: [
1
]
Go Down
« previous
next »
Print
Author
Topic: I miss my son (Read 655 times)
cfh
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: Married 30 + years and struggling under the strain
Posts: 769
I miss my son
«
on:
January 24, 2013, 09:53:16 PM »
I just need to say that out loud!
Yes he drives me nuts but he's 1500 miles away in jail and I just want to give him a hug.
When I visited him in jail over Christmas we had that glass wall between us so I couldn't even touch him and the visits are limited to 30 minutes. Also you are only allowed 2 visits a week.
And when he calls it's $17 for 15 minutes. And there is a max on how much money you can put on your phone per month so it's not like he can call every night.
We have to manage our phone time carefully so we don't run out for the month.
So I'm having a blue night.
Logged
Our objective
is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to
learn the skills
to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders
lbjnltx
Retired Staff
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Relationship status: widowed
Posts: 7757
we can all evolve into someone beautiful
Re: I miss my son
«
Reply #1 on:
January 24, 2013, 09:59:50 PM »
Aww cfh
I'm sorry you can't just reach out and hug him or call him to hear his voice. It is so hard... . waiting. When my d was away I would carry my phone with me from room to room just in case she called earlier than scheduled. I was so upset when a therapy call was cancelled... . and there were nights I cried myself to sleep missing her so badly. The only way I got through was knowing she was safe and she was getting help... . my mantra... . "this is a blessing, she will be home when she is well, I can see her next month, I can talk to her soon, we are all going to be ok." It helped me get through the roughest times.
lbj
Logged
BPDd-13 Residential Treatment -
keep believing in miracles
momontherun
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 135
Re: I miss my son
«
Reply #2 on:
January 24, 2013, 10:35:44 PM »
Of course you do! It IS hard waiting and even more so being heavily restricted like you are. I too, miss my dd15 - she has never been away for so long (going on 5 months) and I too, anticipate going to see her 3200 miles away. However, she wouldn't be where she is if it wasn't for the actions that brought her there... . not much help yet the reminder (for me) is very much needed when she gets homesick or I start missing her too much. Have yourself a "you" night: read a book, watch a movie, take a bath, get some sleep etc... . whatever it takes to take care of you
Logged
cfh
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: Married 30 + years and struggling under the strain
Posts: 769
Re: I miss my son
«
Reply #3 on:
January 24, 2013, 10:51:13 PM »
Momontherun, Lbj
Thanks. Watching Downton Abbey is my treat tonight and lbj I carry my phone everywhere! If I run down to do laundry or I'm sitting in a movie theatre (I'll have it on vibrate). Just in case he calls because there is no schedule. He calls when he can though he tries to call at a certain time at night when he knows we will both be home.
He said that next time I visit we'll be in a room without the glass... . life's small pleasures!
Logged
lbjnltx
Retired Staff
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Relationship status: widowed
Posts: 7757
we can all evolve into someone beautiful
Re: I miss my son
«
Reply #4 on:
January 24, 2013, 11:00:11 PM »
To get to touch him and be close to him will be so wonderful for you both.
Logged
BPDd-13 Residential Treatment -
keep believing in miracles
qcarolr
Distinguished Member
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Relationship status: Married to DH since 1976
Posts: 4926
Re: I miss my son
«
Reply #5 on:
January 24, 2013, 11:40:01 PM »
cfh - do you have a plan for a visit? It is so hard, the waiting. And not knowing the outcome of his case. When is his next hearing?
I have visited in the room in this jail. There are some restrictions on contact - it is way better than the glass - sitting face to face. Visited my SIL with DD and also with gd7 back when she was a crawling baby. And I know the phone part too. Such pain we bear. Remember that he is safe, not using drugs, is eating, sleeiping etc. -- and he seems to feel safe here as well. He has been far away for awhile and in not as good a place before.
Keep you hope -- qcr
Logged
The best criticism of the bad is the practice of the better. (Dom Helder)
cfh
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: Married 30 + years and struggling under the strain
Posts: 769
Re: I miss my son
«
Reply #6 on:
January 25, 2013, 12:36:10 AM »
Qcarolr
I know you know! We have a phone call with the lawyer tomorrow and his next court date is the first week of February. I plan to go out in the next couple of weeks.
The goal is to have this tried as a mental illness case and get him transferred back to NY. Ideally with a mandate for long term treatment but worst case would be 3 years prison time.
If he has to do time we are going to push for it to be in NY.
The interstate compact act gets in the way but we are hopeful.
He has such huge challenges ahead but he always does better when he has family nearby.
If we can get him back here he has a big extended family who understand his struggles and are very supportive. He's a handful but very charismatic. Loves his family (when he doesn't hate us).
For now I really think he feels safe because of the structure.
So far he is not getting into any fights and is actively seeking any mental health services they have. I know he is also trying to get the docs to prescribe any Rx to make him feel loopy but there's nothing I can do about that. He loves drugs.
Logged
vivekananda
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: married
Posts: 2353
Re: I miss my son
«
Reply #7 on:
January 25, 2013, 01:03:22 AM »
Vivek (one for you, one for your boy) sending love to you both
Logged
lovesjazz
Offline
Posts: 301
Re: I miss my son
«
Reply #8 on:
January 26, 2013, 12:56:04 PM »
I so understand. I find myself hugging the phone and pictures he sends by email. I dont miss his drama but I miss him so much... . prayers of peace to you... .
Logged
twojaybirds
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 622
Re: I miss my son
«
Reply #9 on:
January 26, 2013, 02:39:59 PM »
I write about my dd and scrapbook from messages on fb and our texts. It helps me deal with the lonliness as well as feeling some connection.
Missing vcan be so sad and lonley. Thanks for sharing it with us.
Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?
Pages: [
1
]
Go Up
Print
BPDFamily.com
>
Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD
>
Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD
> Topic:
I miss my son
« previous
next »
Jump to:
Please select a destination:
-----------------------------
Help Desk
-----------------------------
===> Open board
-----------------------------
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
-----------------------------
=> Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup
=> Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting
=> Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
-----------------------------
Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD
-----------------------------
=> Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD
=> Parent, Sibling, or In-law Suffering from BPD
-----------------------------
Community Built Knowledge Base
-----------------------------
=> Library: Psychology questions and answers
=> Library: Tools and skills workshops
=> Library: Book Club, previews and discussions
=> Library: Video, audio, and pdfs
=> Library: Content to critique for possible feature articles
=> Library: BPDFamily research surveys
Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife
Loading...