Genetic

[Fairytoo]

I beleive my daughter has BPD but has never been diagnosed only with anxiety and depression could my grandson have the same disorder can anyone tell me

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[kelti1972]

Hi Fairytoo:

Welcome to this board.  I am not able to help you on that subject.  All I can tell you is my 27year old son was finally assessed and it took us that long to get him diagnosed.  I think I have some of the same traits or elements of BPD but I was diagnosed by a phychitrist four years ago with long term depression and ptsd.  I don't know if that helps at all but that is a little about my experience with this.

I know reading all the tools, books, watching videos are so helpful and informative.  Good luck.  Kelti1972

[enlighten me]

What about your grandson has you worried?

I certainly believe there is a genetic link but this doesnt neccessarily mean that all children will have it. My two sons with my ex wife certainly arent BPD. My ex wife has remarried and had a daughter. She is only one but wouldnt suprise me if she has BPD as she is a miserable child always crying and whining. This is how my ex MIL described my ex wife at her age.

My exgf daughter I am certain has BPD. She is ten and has so many traits. Her brothers ( my so and one by her ex husband) both seem fine.

[Fairytoo]

What about your grandson has you worried?

I certainly believe there is a genetic link but this doesnt neccessarily mean that all children will have it. My two sons with my ex wife certainly arent BPD. My ex wife has remarried and had a daughter. She is only one but wouldnt suprise me if she has BPD as she is a miserable child always crying and whining. This is how my ex MIL described my ex wife at her age.

My exgf daughter I am certain has BPD. She is ten and has so many traits. Her brothers ( my so and one by her ex husband) both seem fine.

[enlighten me]

Sorry fairy your reply hasnt appeared.

[Fairytoo]

My Grandson has ADHD and high functioning autism which has only been apparent in his teens now 14.  I see similar actives in him that were  in my daughter at this age but I don't know if this is just me terrified of a repeat performance.

He chooses to live with me and will have nothing to do with her because of her violent behavior towards him as well which has created a situation where my daughter and myself no longer have any contact.

This situation could have been passed down from my mother who was violent yet functional to myself then to my daughter and possibly to my grandson.  If so I would think it important to try different parenting skills with my grandson.

Ofcourse I would like to jump this planet. I have had enough of it but I have my responsibility to him to give him the best of what I have left I am 65 experience bipolar 2  and tired, sad, disappointed in myself for the possible further damage I have done to my daughter.  I is all very well intellectually I know, but when your emotions are involved it is so had not to blame yourself for what you could have done better.

[enlighten me]

Is your daughter diagnosed BPD? I watched something the other day that said girls can be misdiagnosed as BPD when it could be autism. Apparently autistic girls are better at working out how they are meant yo behave and interact so it can seem to be something else.

If your grandson has been diagnosed as autistic then that is most likely what you are dealing with.

Im no expert though. My knowledge is based solely on my interactions with two uBPD exs and what i have researched myself.

[inkling16]

There is definitely a strong genetic component. Our family has a lot of BPD on both sides. I only figured this out when our daughter was diagnosed three years ago, but it explained so much dysfunctional behavior in our family history. Of course it didn't even exist as a diagnosis until fairly recently, but I believe that both my brothers had it in different forms, as well as my dad's mother. My husband's sister has it for sure--she's in her 50s and she's a mess in ways that will sound familiar to everyone here. As I dug back into our family tree, I found lots of weirdness--large families where only one of the siblings ever got married, a suicide here, an estrangement there. My mom had her issues, though I wouldn't call her disordered, and a lot of the feelings my daughter describes sound familiar to me, too, though again I was never crippled by them the way she is. I think this condition may be a continuum.

I wish I had known all this when our daughter was little and hyperemotional--I could have dumped my "good parent" parenting strategies in favor of ones that were better for someone with these tendencies (a propos of the "I make it worse" threads).

[madmom]

I definitely think there is a genetic component.  My daughter has never been abused, has wanted for nothing, has a loving, intact family and yet here we are dealing with this nightmare.  I can look back at family members and see various types of mental health issues, so I have to believe that genetics are certainly a possibility.

[Dibdob59]

I can only agree with the above. 

Strange/unpleasant behaviours and patterns or events in our family history 'were what they were' and nobody discussed them.  They all make so much mores sense now when examined with an awareness of BPD.

In the UK BPD is something that is never mentioned - even my GP knows virtually nothing about it and just refers to 'personality disorders' with a wave of his hand as if it is modern day claptrap. The same with the therapist that my doctor referred me to when I got to the end of my rope and could hardly deal with the daily chaos of my BPD family any more.

I knew far more about BPD than the therapist did and he was fascinated with what I had read.  He had little advice or help for me and he works in the main NHS health practice that all hospitals refer patients to. What hope is there?

It is beyond frustrating.

[Meadowslark]

I definitely think there is a genetic component.  My daughter has never been abused, has wanted for nothing, has a loving, intact family and yet here we are dealing with this nightmare.  I can look back at family members and see various types of mental health issues, so I have to believe that genetics are certainly a possibility.

There is definitely a genetic and environmental component to developing BPD. My NPDfather came from an NPDmother and her husband (dad's father) was very dysfunctional. I suspect my maternal grandfather had NPD at the very least. My sister and I are 4 years apart and I do not have BPD, but she does. I think it's a combination of factors that can't always be predicted with certainty.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders