Hi alonebuthappy,
If you would, please post and introduction in the
[L1]New Members: Please post here first Forum. It is helpful both for us, and for you, to tell your story and your experience with the person with BPD in your life. When we know what you have been dealing with, we are better able to help you explore whatever path it is that you choose to take!
New to the family... .
I have spent countless hours reading the forums and learning about BPD from every possible place possible. My question to you, the family, how much value or time in/away from your relationship when you finally said enough, "my self respect matters?"
That is the question that made me finally wake up! Fifteen years of abuse, one child, and countless push-pull recycle non-fix attempts of getting back together. It always came back to me, what I wanted and would accept, always look at yourself and what you are willing to accept from, "crazy".
I guess what I am saying or looking for, is when your gut says something is a miss chances are they are.
I have read so many people asking when to break NC or when will there EX contact them. Shouldn't the question be, "Are you ready to face yourself in the mirror and accept your forgivness for your past misyakes and can't wait to meet that same person soon with smiles and willingness of forgivness to move foward with happiness and acceptance".
You are correct, IT IS very important that we are asking questions of ourselves and looking at our own behaviors and thoughts even more than those of the pwBPD in our lives. It is critical to remember that the ONLY people we can control are ourselves. We really only stand to hurt ourselves by expecting to be able to control others or force an outcome.
