5 Days of NC (and I feel pretty amazing)

[Depression = 72% of members]

about 2 weeks ago my uBPD ex and I made an abrupt and seemingly official end.  About 5 days ago I reached out to her in a fit of devastation and desperation. She ignored my messages.

After this, I felt it was really over.  And I gotta tell you guys, I don't know why, but I am able to think of her, our relationship and all that unfolded without feeling the pain I used to. 

I have been feeling wonderful!  I started hitting the gym again.  I started waking up without feeling a cloud of doom all over.  I feel like I'm going back to being a full person.  I haven't felt compelled to look at her facebook or find pictures of her.  I don't know why this is. 

All I can say is in reading many of your experiences and seeing how they mirrored my own with her, I was able to feel like my ex is not good for anyone, not just me.  She is a disaster.  YOUR EX is a disaster.  No matter how much pain they caused you (and continue you to cause you)... . You are lucky.  You are lucky to be alive (because there were many times I questioned my desire to live while I was with her... . I'm sure some of you did too)... .

You are also lucky to be away from her/him... . they are so messed up and only hurt us, like a drug. 

I am so glad I found this place early on.  It has helped put me in the right direction.  I feel genuinely happy that she and I are over and I never thought I would feel that way as soon as I have felt it.

[JohnThorn]

about 2 weeks ago my uBPD ex and I made an abrupt and seemingly official end.  About 5 days ago I reached out to her in a fit of devastation and desperation. She ignored my messages.

After this, I felt it was really over.  And I gotta tell you guys, I don't know why, but I am able to think of her, our relationship and all that unfolded without feeling the pain I used to. 

I have been feeling wonderful!  I started hitting the gym again.  I started waking up without feeling a cloud of doom all over.  I feel like I'm going back to being a full person.  I haven't felt compelled to look at her facebook or find pictures of her.  I don't know why this is. 

All I can say is in reading many of your experiences and seeing how they mirrored my own with her, I was able to feel like my ex is not good for anyone, not just me.  She is a disaster.  YOUR EX is a disaster.  No matter how much pain they caused you (and continue you to cause you)... . You are lucky.  You are lucky to be alive (because there were many times I questioned my desire to live while I was with her... . I'm sure some of you did too)... .

You are also lucky to be away from her/him... . they are so messed up and only hurt us, like a drug. 

I am so glad I found this place early on.  It has helped put me in the right direction.  I feel genuinely happy that she and I are over and I never thought I would feel that way as soon as I have felt it.

[Mutt]

The FOG is starting to lift. Releasing endorphins is good. Don't  be discouraged if you start to feel a little bad again in a few days. Stick with it, you'll continue to see the benefits.

[falconfree28]

Great to hear your story.

I've been 7 weeks NC, and I'm working through the guilt I was made to suffer through, each day does get a lot better, you'll be amazed how much the little things matter.

I completely forgot to delete all e-mails, I did a search, didn't even bother reading them and every little things I delete of her in my life makes me feel "that little bit" better.

Your post inspired me as I was having a down day, but it's made me smile, I look forward to reading your posts as that FOG goes away.

[Pecator]

Wow,

I am a religious kind of guy. Sitting more alone than I have ever felt in my life. First time I missed an Easter Sunday morning service in decades. (I was up all night after I allowed my ex to break N/C).

Came to a local pub just to get out of the isolation. Pulled up these pages and found the most authentic stories of resurrection I have ever read. I am very inspired to bring that to my life. To do it now!

John, Falcon, I will catch up. Bless you both for sharing your successes here. I know it won't be an easy path, but I will follow!