Lost, Hurt, Numb, Unsure

[brokenbyspouse]

As I sit here this morning. I feel an overwhelming numbness all over. I left our room 2 nights ago for another room in the house. He is being so loving and concerned. I ask him last night what he thought was happening to our marriage. He truly believes I am so angry over his affairs I cant think straight and that with time it will get better.

What in the heck am I going to do. I drug myself out of the pits of depression. I still suffer from PTSD. I have turned into a detective. Always searching for lies and untruths from him. How do you suggest to someone that you think they might be a narcissists?

I really just want to crawl back under the covers and not come out. I feel like I have been trying to rebuild this marriage alone. I'm tired. I'm so over dealing with this. I just want my marriage that I had before I discovered he was a lying adulterous.  :'(

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Daniell85]

I am there.   I'm so sorry you find yourself in this situation. The lies, gaslighting, the head games, and catch-me-if-you-can of an affair can drive you into be a completely different person than you started out as. It's like what is your reality anymore, and what was your life really?

You cannot rebuild a marriage alone. So you are left at this moment in time with what you can do for yourself. To take care of your health, mentally and physically. To stabilize your mind. Do you have a therapist?

[brokenbyspouse]

Things were going along great. I was with a therapist as was he. Then Bam! Another rug was yanked from under my feet. I have no desire to get dressed. Much less find a new therapist. My head is swimming. I hate this he has thrown me back into this again.

He has his appointment for therapy next Tuesday. But, if neither of them realize he is a narcissist. What good will it do him?

I am just shaking my head in disbelief.

[Daniell85]

What rug was yanked out from under your feet? you lost your therapist? Or you mean you found out he was cheating again?

[formflier]

He has his appointment for therapy next Tuesday. But, if neither of them realize he is a narcissist. What good will it do him?

Best if you focus on yourself and "your side of the street"... .and let he and his T worry about "his side" of the street.

I remember being worried about what my wife told her T... .what the T thought... etc etc...   I expended a lot of energy on those issues... .and got very little "return" on that energy.

The "energy" I put into my own issues... .with my own T... .has paid high returns... .I feel much better about things... .

This also created space for my wife to relax and explore her issues... .without my big nose (and ideas) in the middle of things.

 

Looking forward to  hearing more about your thought process on this.

FF