Diagnosis + Treatment
The Big Picture
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? [ Video ]
Five Dimensions of Human Personality
Think It's BPD but How Can I Know?
DSM Criteria for Personality Disorders
Treatment of BPD [ Video ]
Getting a Loved One Into Therapy
Top 50 Questions Members Ask
Home page
Forum
List of discussion groups
Making a first post
Find last post
Discussion group guidelines
Tips
Romantic relationship in or near breakup
Child (adult or adolescent) with BPD
Sibling or Parent with BPD
Boyfriend/Girlfriend with BPD
Partner or Spouse with BPD
Surviving a Failed Romantic Relationship
Tools
Wisemind
Ending conflict (3 minute lesson)
Listen with Empathy
Don't Be Invalidating
Setting boundaries
On-line CBT
Book reviews
Member workshops
About
Mission and Purpose
Website Policies
Membership Eligibility
Please Donate
May 02, 2024, 06:33:58 PM
Welcome,
Guest
. Please
login
or
register
.
1 Hour
5 Hours
1 Day
1 Week
Forever
Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins:
Kells76
,
Once Removed
,
Turkish
Senior Ambassadors:
Cat Familiar
,
EyesUp
,
SinisterComplex
Help!
Boards
Please Donate
Login to Post
New?--Click here to register
Depression = 72% of members
Take the test, read about the implications, and check out the remedies.
111
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
> Topic:
Ex had her baby yesterday
Pages: [
1
]
Go Down
« previous
next »
Print
Author
Topic: Ex had her baby yesterday (Read 486 times)
trevjim
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 368
Ex had her baby yesterday
«
on:
December 22, 2013, 06:01:38 AM »
I logged onto my Facebook, and due to having many mutual friends, a picture of her, her boyfriend and her newborn where top of my Facebook news feed.
Its been a year since we broke up, give or take a couple of weeks,my life dream was to find the girl of my dreams, have kids and settle down (who's isn't?)
so when we broke up, I always dreaded the inevitable moment when she would have a child again.
so how did I feel when I saw the news yesterday?
I was sad and a tad jealous, however I know its not all smiles, Im happy in a sense for her, and I wish her and her children all the best I genuinely do. It wasnt the stab through the heart I always felt it would be.
I am a little depressed, I still crave wanting to fall in love and make a family and hope my time hurrys up.
Logged
Surnia
Retired Staff
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: 8 y married, divorced since 2012-11-22
Posts: 3900
Re: Ex had her baby yesterday
«
Reply #1 on:
December 22, 2013, 06:21:48 AM »
Hi trevjim
This is a difficult moment. Seing ex with her baby let coming up your own dreams and with it some pieces of the past.
I think you handled it very well. Being aware with your own emotions and even some kind wishes for her.
So my wishes go to you, to find someone as a base for a family.
Logged
“Don’t shrink. Don’t puff up. Stand on your sacred ground.” Brené Brown
arn131arn
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: living apart
Posts: 826
Re: Ex had her baby yesterday
«
Reply #2 on:
December 22, 2013, 06:44:52 AM »
trev,
I admire how you can act with class right now. I am not that healed.
I know it sounds trite or like I don't understand your situation, but, man, take it from me, you didn't want a child with a woman like her anyway.
Mine barely lets me see my son (8), which hurts him just as much as me... .that is what you would have to deal with for the rest of your life. I hope you find someone who loves you for you, and loves you unconditionally.
Logged
heartandwhole
Retired Staff
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 3592
Re: Ex had her baby yesterday
«
Reply #3 on:
December 22, 2013, 11:00:43 AM »
trevjim,
I also think you handled that news very well. I know it would be hard for me to see that. I wish for you a really healthy and loving relationship and family.
Logged
When the pain of love increases your joy, roses and lilies fill the garden of your soul.
seeking balance
Retired Staff
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Relationship status: divorced
Posts: 7146
Re: Ex had her baby yesterday
«
Reply #4 on:
December 22, 2013, 11:19:16 AM »
Quote from: trevjim on December 22, 2013, 06:01:38 AM
I was sad and a tad jealous, however I know its not all smiles, Im happy in a sense for her, and I wish her and her children all the best I genuinely do. It wasnt the stab through the heart I always felt it would be.
I am a little depressed, I still crave wanting to fall in love and make a family and hope my time hurrys up.
My experience was similar to yours and my feelings as well. I was a bit lethargic for a week or so, did the things I knew to do to process my emotions and eventually the depression passed.
I also understand wanting your own family and to love someone - that is the part that many single people whether they experience BPD relationship or not - go through. We all want to love and be loved.
Thanks for posting - it sounds like you are managing your emotions quite good.
Peace,
SB
Logged
Faith does not grow in the house of certainty - The Shack
caughtnreleased
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
Posts: 631
Re: Ex had her baby yesterday
«
Reply #5 on:
December 22, 2013, 11:26:15 AM »
wow! It's been a year. Meaning it took her three months to find someone to have a child with... .what insanity. Even though you currently don't have everything you want in life, there's much more reward in having to work towards it, and part of that work includes letting the wrong people go. You are handling it very well.
Logged
The crumbs of love that you offer me, they're the crumbs I've left behind. - L. Cohen
huhhuh
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 81
Re: Ex had her baby yesterday
«
Reply #6 on:
December 22, 2013, 11:34:49 AM »
Ugh. That must be painfull to watch. I fear I will face the same situation at some time.
It must look like another person is living the life you are supposed to have.
My thoughts are with you. And I hope you will find a healthy person to share life with.
Logged
Aussie0zborn
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 803
Re: Ex had her baby yesterday
«
Reply #7 on:
December 22, 2013, 04:13:44 PM »
Wow. She got pregnant just three months after separation?
As Arn said, this is not the right type of person to have a child with. Watching my former stepchildren suffer a BPD mother was painful enough, imagine watching your own children suffer and having them used against you? You're lucky it wasn't your baby and you probably dodged a lifelong bullet. Glad to see you handled it well.
Logged
GreenMango
Retired Staff
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 4326
Re: Ex had her baby yesterday
«
Reply #8 on:
December 22, 2013, 04:17:52 PM »
Excerpt
I still crave wanting to fall in love and make a family and hope my time hurrys up.
It will happen for you with the right person. Keep looking up until then.
It's a new year soon and best wishes to you Trevjim.
Logged
mango_flower
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Posts: 689
Re: Ex had her baby yesterday
«
Reply #9 on:
December 22, 2013, 04:24:28 PM »
So sorry to hear that Trevjim... .I remember talking to you way back, when all this kicked off. The whole situation about your ex just makes me feel sick, to be honest
You're going to be all right though. You will meet somebody, as you're a decent guy. And you'll have that family you dreamed of, and you'll be able to sleep at night with peace in your heart, and your whole world being right - not having to worry about walking on eggshells or what tomorrow will bring.
Stay strong. x
Logged
necchi
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 376
Re: Ex had her baby yesterday
«
Reply #10 on:
December 22, 2013, 04:44:10 PM »
Quote from: Aussie0zborn on December 22, 2013, 04:13:44 PM
Wow. She got pregnant just three months after separation?
As Arn said, this is not the right type of person to have a child with. Watching my former stepchildren suffer a BPD mother was painful enough, imagine watching your own children suffer and having them used against you? You're lucky it wasn't your baby and you probably dodged a lifelong bullet. Glad to see you handled it well.
My feedback also!
you might not see this in palpable sense, but trust me, you "dodge" this bullet and lucky you did, you can't imagine how it's like to empathize for a child who lives and grow with a disordered
Lucky, ... .you have no idea!
Logged
trevjim
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 368
Re: Ex had her baby yesterday
«
Reply #11 on:
December 23, 2013, 10:00:24 AM »
Quote from: marinro7 on December 22, 2013, 04:44:10 PM
Quote from: Aussie0zborn on December 22, 2013, 04:13:44 PM
Wow. She got pregnant just three months after separation?
As Arn said, this is not the right type of person to have a child with. Watching my former stepchildren suffer a BPD mother was painful enough, imagine watching your own children suffer and having them used against you? You're lucky it wasn't your baby and you probably dodged a lifelong bullet. Glad to see you handled it well.
My feedback also!
you might not see this in palpable sense, but trust me, you "dodge" this bullet and lucky you did, you can't imagine how it's like to empathize for a child who lives and grow with a disordered
Lucky, ... .you have no idea!
Thank you everyone, means alot! Im certainly learning to manage my emotions better and let them run their course, im feeling better even after a couple of days now!
and yes I dodged a bullet, I just hope the kids get the life they deserve.
Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?
Pages: [
1
]
Go Up
Print
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
> Topic:
Ex had her baby yesterday
« previous
next »
Jump to:
Please select a destination:
-----------------------------
Help Desk
-----------------------------
===> Open board
-----------------------------
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
-----------------------------
=> Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup
=> Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting
=> Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
-----------------------------
Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD
-----------------------------
=> Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD
=> Parent, Sibling, or In-law Suffering from BPD
-----------------------------
Community Built Knowledge Base
-----------------------------
=> Library: Psychology questions and answers
=> Library: Tools and skills workshops
=> Library: Book Club, previews and discussions
=> Library: Video, audio, and pdfs
=> Library: Content to critique for possible feature articles
=> Library: BPDFamily research surveys
Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife
Loading...