Seems it just keeps getting harder

[Mushu]

Hey everyone, last posted 2weeks ago, different thread. Looking to keep things a little more brief here and hopefully get some back and forth as I really have no one to talk to about this.
No contact with my ex BPD fiancee since Jan. 20. Feels like things are working in reverse. At first I was glad, finally relieved of the constant background stress after another unprompted test of what I would put up with and subsequent rage. As time goes by I miss her more and more instead of less and less. Every day, every hour has been a struggle not to text her to see if we can talk. Logic vs emotion.

[GaGrl]

It is so very difficult to separate.

.y suggestion...can you journal all the interactions that led to the demise of the relationship. Write, write, write.

Then go back and read.

[ForeverDad]

Our inclination is to seek a comfort zone, typically what we've become accustomed to.  Even if it was stressful and negative.  You've only started to build yourself a new level, a better zone.  Give it time to reset.  Recovery is not an event, it's a process.

Keep busy with positive activities.  Go hiking, chop some wood, finish a project or two, exercise is a wonderful catalyst for mental health.

[Mushu]

Thank you for your responses.

   I feel writing is a great way to process, just from posting here it seems to bring out suppressed emotion and reading previous posts reminds me of how things were in my own words before amnesia about the negatives set in.
   Staying busy with projects and exercise are great suggestions and I have been doing both. Still my motivation has waned as the separation is becoming more difficult to accept. It's all I can do not to try and reach out to her.