I am so angry... this is why NC is best

[Depression = 72% of members]

I am so ANGRY! This is why no contact is best... .Forgive me while I vent a few minutes!

He is such a jerk. I told him the joint bank account will be closed tomorrow morning. He said that's sad... .I said "what's sad, you want a divorce correct?" he said, "yes, I want a divorce, it's just sad"... .I think I got mad... .I said, "don't give me that, I'm sad crap... .you weren't sad when you were running around getting a bunch of people pregnant"... .(someone else claimed he got her pregnant as well-supposedly it wasn't true) I said, " I hope you are happy in your new life and that you get everything you deserve that is coming to you" (do you think he knew I was being sarcastic?) Maybe by this next response- He said " I hope someday you too can find someone you are happy with and have peace in your life"... .this of course made me mad (which was his plan I guess).  I said, don't worry about me, you are crazy if you think you have found the right person- you will see all in due time what you did. I am happy by myself and don't need to be happy with the first loser that comes along like you seem to be happy with"... .No Response.  I know this sounds a bit rough, but I am angry... .If he is so "happy" with this person then why was he so angry at me on Xmas?... .why was he e-mailing me all day on New Years eve? I think he is stuck with her and is trying to convince himself he is happy... .UUUGGGHHH!  I see the divorce lawyer tomorrow! At least now I don't have any regrets about doing this. He just likes to make me madder and madder... .and it works! He is always able to manipulate me and I am sure that makes him happy. He won't be happy when he gets the papers from the lawyer... .I know I sound like an angry, awful person... .I am really not.  I am just feeling so rejected I guess. Like he is choosing some ugly, loser over me. (Everyone thinks she is witchy looking, so I am not being unreal here) I need this over with so I don't have to talk to him anymore. I was so much better with no-contact! I want to move away from him as well... .I am looking into that now too. They may move out of state, but this next 6 months they are too close for comfort. They live 2 streets over! I don't know what he is going to do, but I don't want to be near him and I want a fresh start. He is such a jerk and I know he says stuff just to get me worked up. Why do I let him?

[Herodias]

I am so ANGRY! This is why no contact is best... .Forgive me while I vent a few minutes!

He is such a jerk. I told him the joint bank account will be closed tomorrow morning. He said that's sad... .I said "what's sad, you want a divorce correct?" he said, "yes, I want a divorce, it's just sad"... .I think I got mad... .I said, "don't give me that, I'm sad crap... .you weren't sad when you were running around getting a bunch of people pregnant"... .(someone else claimed he got her pregnant as well-supposedly it wasn't true) I said, " I hope you are happy in your new life and that you get everything you deserve that is coming to you" (do you think he knew I was being sarcastic?) Maybe by this next response- He said " I hope someday you too can find someone you are happy with and have peace in your life"... .this of course made me mad (which was his plan I guess).  I said, don't worry about me, you are crazy if you think you have found the right person- you will see all in due time what you did. I am happy by myself and don't need to be happy with the first loser that comes along like you seem to be happy with"... .No Response.  I know this sounds a bit rough, but I am angry... .If he is so "happy" with this person then why was he so angry at me on Xmas?... .why was he e-mailing me all day on New Years eve? I think he is stuck with her and is trying to convince himself he is happy... .UUUGGGHHH!  I see the divorce lawyer tomorrow! At least now I don't have any regrets about doing this. He just likes to make me madder and madder... .and it works! He is always able to manipulate me and I am sure that makes him happy. He won't be happy when he gets the papers from the lawyer... .I know I sound like an angry, awful person... .I am really not.  I am just feeling so rejected I guess. Like he is choosing some ugly, loser over me. (Everyone thinks she is witchy looking, so I am not being unreal here) I need this over with so I don't have to talk to him anymore. I was so much better with no-contact! I want to move away from him as well... .I am looking into that now too. They may move out of state, but this next 6 months they are too close for comfort. They live 2 streets over! I don't know what he is going to do, but I don't want to be near him and I want a fresh start. He is such a jerk and I know he says stuff just to get me worked up. Why do I let him?

[Confused?]

I could imagine this divorce is a very stressful time in your life. Remember you are dealing with a mentally ill person. He did not choose her over you. He simply is incapable of being himself. Maybe abandonment fears kicked in with you and he sought someone else? The cycle will repeat itself. My ex is currently in her third relationship. The longest she has went without contacting me is 2 months. She contacts me with things like "stop blah blah blah blah blah" and even "I'm sorry for everything" and " I will always love you". It really doesn't matter to me because it's over. She crossed the line and I won't take her back. You need to stay strong and not let him get to you even after his poor choices he has made. I am sure once the divorce is final you will finally be truly at ease 

[Caley]

Wow ... if he gave you a vile of poison would you drink it? Because, in effect, that's what he is doing ... he knows all your buttons, is pressing them, and you are absorbing all the toxin he is doling out. By staying in contact you are helping him do this ... you know this. And, it could lead to some serious health issues ... if it hasn't already.

Two streets away ... how do you cope?

Are you seeing a thoroughly qualified therapist that can acknowledge what you are experiencing and support you through this. In my experience a divorce from a person like this is slow, drawn out, and debilitating at best.

This is the place to vent ... people here understand ... vent here ... not to him ... you're feeding him and if he thinks he can get under your skin he'll keep the pressure on until you do something you might later regret ... and then, guess what, he'll be able to say, 'See, she is crazy ... I told you .!'

Stay strong ... stay away.

Thoughts are with you.

[Confused?]

This is the place to vent ... people here understand ... vent here ... not to him ... you're feeding him and if he thinks he can get under your skin he'll keep the pressure on until you do something you might later regret ... and then, guess what, he'll be able to say, 'See, she is crazy ... I told you .!'

Stay strong ... stay away.

Thoughts are with you.

This is the exact reason I stayed very calm after being replaced. Any time she contacted me I always said talk you your boyfriend or why do you keep calling and texting me?

[Caley]

[/quote]
This is the exact reason I stayed very calm after being replaced. Any time she contacted me I always said talk you your boyfriend or why do you keep calling and texting me?[/quote]
I hope you take this in the way that it meant ... which is for your best interest even though it may come across as critical ... but, even saying, 'why do you keep calling and texting me?' Is an emotional response ... and, viola, they have their fix.

Zero Contact ... because they'll find the smallest of cracks ... they're masterful manipulators ... and because you're not an emotional manipulator they will beat you hands down every time, all the time. The only method of guaranteeing the abuse stops is to have zero contact ... zilch.

[Confused?]

This is the exact reason I stayed very calm after being replaced. Any time she contacted me I always said talk you your boyfriend or why do you keep calling and texting me?[/quote]
I hope you take this in the way that it meant ... which is for your best interest even though it may come across as critical ... but, even saying, 'why do you keep calling and texting me?' Is an emotional response ... and, viola, they have their fix.

Zero Contact ... because they'll find the smallest of cracks ... they're masterful manipulators ... and because you're not an emotional manipulator they will beat you hands down every time, all the time. The only method of guaranteeing the abuse stops is to have zero contact ... zilch.[/quote]
I have been away from her for over almost two years. If when she reaches out and I coldly say why r u contacting me is a fix for her then so be it. She knows I love her and always will. I have forgiven her for what she has done. She is destructive. She knows it. She will destroy every relationship. I was very close to her family and she was with mine. If you or anyone thinks she is "winning" you are just as naive as her.

I wasn't taking offense to your response in any way. I think that being in her third relationship after discarding me and still contacting me is actually me winning. It just shows how messed up she really is.

[Herodias]

Confused, I like this comment " I think that being in her third relationship after discarding me and still contacting me is actually me winning. It just shows how messed up she really is."... .I guess that is how I feel. He is still contacting me. I kind of said what you said on New Years Eve... .He kept on and on wishing me a happy new year... .I said, "what are you contacting me? Where is your harem?" He quit after that. He doesn't want to hear anything negative. Caley, I know what you mean... .I was better when I was not on contact with him. He is playing games with me, but we had to be in contact about this joint bank account and how he will be sending money to me instead of transferring it through the joint account. Now that that is settled, I will be speaking with my lawyer tomorrow and there is nothing left to say. He just wants to play that stupid "I'm so sad" thing and I just want him to know I am not falling for it! He is such a sociopath at times and it makes me angry when he wants to pretend to have feelings. I know I should just roll my eyes and forget about it. I don't know if he thinks he is happy or if he is pretending to be happy, but we know these people are not happy. I guess there is no point on rubbing it in their face, but when they rub it in ours, it just makes me mad and I want to remind him that I know he's not happy. He would admit that to me if he was drunk and I know it... .It is all a game to him. I will do better from now on... .